Missing
by ajoy3
Summary: Inuyasha has woken up in a hospital with no memory of the last six months and is terrified when he finds no sign of Kagome. Worse, he finds out that he dumped her for his ex! What happened to Inuyasha and Kagome, and what does that have to do with his accident?
1. Chapter 1

"Hold him down!" The masculine voice cried, competing against the frantic beating of the monitors, "We need back up in here, STAT!" There was an urgency in the strangers tone, a sense of danger if his request was not heeded. The machines went wild, collecting data and alerting staff the patient was in critical condition.

"Get these fuckin' wires offa' me!" The hanyo roared, tearing at the invading tubes and monitors attached to his body. Amber eyes roved over the large figures, clad in scrubs and face masks. He knew not a soul in the room, had no fucking clue how he got there. His heart sped up, panic stirring deep in his chest. Where the hell was he, and where was Kagome?

"KAGOME!" It came out a feral snarl, the sound of an animal, scared and dangerous

Amber eyes darted, scanning the room looking for his fiancé. He looked mad, every part the savage beast his ancestors had been accused of. The sterile aroma of the hospital was making him dizzy, making the other smells more prominent. The doctors fucking reeked, there was sickness in every corner of the room. But no Kagome. The raven haired woman was no where to be found, her soothing scent completely absent, desperately needed in the crazy mess. "Where is Kagome?!" He raged, teeth bared for anyone who dared approach him.

"We don't know who you're talking about!" The doctor shouted, trying to reason with his patient. His face was full of concern as he gripped Inuyashas shoulders, trying his hardest to push the hanyou back against the bed. "You must stay calm! Your brain injury-"

Sitting up with demon force, shrugging his arms free of the nuisance equipment and attendants he attempted to stand in search of Kagome. His head felt dizzy as white spots clouded his vision; raising a clawed hand to his head, he tried to steady himself. He had to find her.

A snake demon entered the room, his scaled body slithering along side him. In one quick move, the snake wrapped his body around the dog demon, contracting to keep the injured man still.

"Now!" He cried, alerting the doctors to inject Inuyasha with a series of strong tranquilizers. He felt his jaw go slack as his vision blurred.

~.~

"Inuyasha?" He could make out the muffled voice of Miroku, the steady rhythm of the machines beeping in the background. "Inuyasha, are you awake?" His friend repeated.

Raising a clawed hand to his forehead Inuyasha rubbed his temples. Mirokus volume was unbearably loud. His head was throbbing and he had no fucking idea why. He was at a hospital, although he couldn't pinpoint which one, and for some his lecherous best friend was sitting in the bedside chair, not his fiancé. "Where's Kagome?" He rasped out, his throat astoundingly sore.

"Kagome?" The mans voice hitched, the sound ringing like a bell, causing Inuyasha's ears to flatten against his head. Gritting his teeth, he let out a rugged hiss. "What the hell?" He said more to himself than to Miroku.

"You were in an accident." Miroku answered. "About a month ago. It was a rainy night and we think- we think your motorcycle hit a wet patch. You crashed into a telephone pole. You've been in a coma this whole time-"

"Wheres Kagome?" Inuyasha asked again. "Was she with me? Is she alright?" Anxiety began to flood him. Miroku seemed reluctant to answer his question. There was no sign of Kagome anywhere; her scent was totally absent from the room. If she wasn't hurt, if she was okay, she would have to be physically pried away from him if he was bound to a hospital bed, he was sure of that.

Inuyasha narrowed his amber eyes at his friend, opening and closing his mouth, looking more like a fish than a person, as if trying to form the words and failing.

"Where is she?" He repeated, his tone low and dangerous. "Is she hurt?" He asked, his voice trembling. "Did I- Did I _hurt_her?" Sitting up, breath becoming

"Inuyasha…" Miroku licked his lips, stalling for time, still trying to find the right words. "You guys broke up like half a year ago."

The breath left his body, coming out in a great _whoosh_. "Br-broke up?" He stammered. "We wouldn't fucking break- _AH_" His head ached, fucking throbbed. Throwing his hands up towards his ears, he took unsteady breaths, trying to calm himself down. Miroku bolted up from his chair and rushed towards the bed, hands hovering over the hanyou, unsure how to help but eager to do so. Inuyasha waved him away, looking up at him once he regained control of his breathing. His serious expression looked more severe than usual, his eyes red and blood shot, boring into the man who claimed he and Kagome would break up. _Seriously_? They were solid. There was no possible way.

"Cut the crap," He shot him an angry expression. "Kagome wouldn't break up with me."

"Inuyasha, I think I should get the doctor-" His blue eyes were wide with worry.

"I'm fine, except for the fact that I'm hearing you ramble instead of calling Kagome here."

''

Miroku did that thing again, that annoying move where he opened and closed his mouth without fucking saying anything. Finally, he swallowed hard before he spoke. "Inuyasha, you broke up with her…like six months ago. You're- you're dating Kikyo now."

The hanyou scowled at his _supposed_best friend. "Bullshit." Miroku turned his head, calling for a nurse, uttering some crap about a head injury. Reaching out, he grabbed Miroku's wrist, forcing his attention back to him. "I wouldn't do that." He growled. "I wouldn't break up with her! I wouldn't-" The monitors began to go crazy as his heart rate spiked, his breathing shot up and his blood pressure rose to dangerous levels. "I wouldn't- I wouldn't-" He ground out through clenched teeth, as if even thinking of the act would send him over the edge. Nurses rushed in, a blur of white uniforms pushing Miroku away, calling some numbered code into the intercom. Miroku looked at him from the corner, worried, frightened as he tried to explain to a nurse the situation. "Miroku!" He yelled, desperate to make him understand. "Miroku! Get Kagome here! I don't know what- FUCK get away from me!" He violently shrugged off the attendants that were eagerly trying to calm him down, the other injecting a powerful sedative into his IV. "Miroku! Get Kagome! GET KAGOM-"

His last thoughts were of her as his head swam and the world turned black.


	2. Chapter 2

A HUGE thank you to everyone who read and reviewed! You guys blew me away! Based on everyones reaction, I've decided to make this longer- hope you enjoy!

~.~

Missing Pt. II

The moment he came to he could feel the change in the room. He didn't need to open his eyes to know Kagome was there; her very presence seemed to set the room alive with electricity. Turning his head towards her direction he called out to her, his voice gruff. "K'gome." The word felt strange on his tongue, as if it was taboo or foreign. "Hey." She said, voice soft, worried. She leaned towards him and reached out for his hand. So small and soft; it seemed out of place here. Lazily, he blinked against the florescent hospital lights to make out her figure.

Her hair was shorter, cut to her shoulders in a sweet bob. She had never worn it that short before, always preferring to keep it long. When had she cut it?

"I'm so glad you're okay." She let out a shaky breath, full of relief. She smiled, but it faltered, but she was quick to catch herself. It seemed sad and hollow and he wanted none of it. It was an image he'd rather forget. She gave his hand a small squeeze.

"I thought I hurt you." He rasped. "When- When I didn't see you here, I thought you-"

Kagome shook her head quickly, her lips pressed tightly together, stopping his unnecessary worry. "No." She said. "You were alone." Inuyasha nodded, looking up towards the ceiling. "Did I-" He bit his bottom lip, afraid of his question, afraid of her answer. "Did I hurt anyone?" It was something he could only trust to hear from her, something he would only be able to handle if it came from Kagome, the guilt and pressure of it a weight on his chest.

"No." He released the breath he didn't know he was holding, relief flooding over him. She tried to smile at him, to seem reassuring but it just made him feel more guilty from some reason. "The only person you hurt was yourself, dummy." Her voice sounded more robust, and finally, _finally_, it seemed normal. "How many times have I told you not to ride when it rained? I heard you weren't even wearing your helmet! Inu-"

Inuyasha hissed as he brought his free hand to his head, cradling it. It was completely fake, but it was effective; it cut her nagging off in its tracks. Maybe this brain injury had its perks. Kagome apologized, straightening her back a bit, leaning away. _Damn, _he hadn't meant to make her do that.

"You cut your hair." He said. "It looks nice." Kagome smiled, a real smile, _finally_. She thanked him, tucking a nervous lock behind her ear.

"You got a cut yourself." She teased, gesturing to the left side of his head. It had been shaved for the surgery, when a series of staples had been placed to help him heal. He doubted they had to be there long, his healing far superior than a humans. His hair however, was a different matter. It grew out slowly, which normally was great- he kept his hair short and didn't need to visit the barber as often. But when the side of your head was shaved it gave a different feeling. Kagome smiled at him, examining the look, making him fidget under her stare. "How is it that you can make this look cool? Seriously, only _you_would be able to make staples look sexy." He wasn't sure why a small compliment from his fiancé made him blush, but damn it, it did.

Kagome bit her bottom lip, as if thinking of what to say next. Finally, she spoke, happy to have found the right thing to say. "So, when do you get to go home?"

"I can be discharged as soon as tomorrow. They said I only need 24 hours observation without my stats changing. They said as long as I have someone at home to watch out for me I should be fine. Bed rest and all that shit." She seemed to brighten at the news.

"That's really good." She smiled. "I'm really happy for you."

"Feh, I hope you're ready for this. I'm going to be milking this for all its worth. Maid Kagome has been a fantasy of mine for a _long_time." He wiggled his dark brows as he smirked. Inuyasha could tell that it threw her off, the slight change in her face, the way she seemed to be at a loss for words. Normally she would be all over an admission like that, taking any opportunity to flirt when she could. But now, she just looked lost and confused, like she couldn't string together the sentence she needed to say.

"M-Miroku told me that you… that you're missing a big chunk of time." She said uncertainly.

"Feh." He waived off the idea. It was true, he lost_some_time. But a month. _Only_a month.

When he was in a damn coma. "Not a big gap. Just the time when I was out. That idiot doesn't know what the hell he's talking about."

Kagome shook her head. "He- He said you've lost more than six months. Maybe more."

"The only thing I've lost is the patience for this bullshit joke." He grumped. "I just want to go home and get into our bed." He gripped her hand tighter, causing her to look down that their joined fingers, as if she had forgotten they were there. "It feels like so long since I've been with you." He admitted, sounding more vulnerable than Kagome could remember hearing.

"Inuyash- Inuyasha…. We're not… We're not-" She worried her bottom lip. "We're not together anymore." Her blue eyes were wide and teary.

Inuyasha clenched his jaw, taking deep, ragged breaths in through his nose. "No." He managed out, the word tight, leaving no room for argument. "That's not possible." Kagome shrugged her right shoulder, like she couldn't even muster the energy for both. She looked deflated; defeated.

"How?" He asked, tone angry.

Kagome let out a bitter laugh. "I'm not sure I'm the right person to ask about your love story with Kikyo." She removed her hand, as if remembering he wasn't hers to hold. Not anymore, at least. He gave her a sharp look, clearly unhappy with how this conversation was going. Kagome shrugged again, Gods, she was doing that a lot today, looking uncomfortable and unsure. She took a deep breath before she began.

"We met her at your 10 year reunion, she said that she was looking to remodel her kitchen. It was awkward and seemed like small talk, because honestly, who hires their engaged ex-boyfriend to fix their house? But she called you and became a really big client. She was calling you all the time, texting you." She gave him a half smile. "You became friends again. Suddenly it wasn't about drywall; you were interested in her. She was having a lot of personal problems and you felt like you needed to be there for her."

Inuyasha studied her, amber eyes taking in every inch of Kagome. She was tense and sad; it felt like she was telling a story about someone else, not her recollection of their split. "By the time I confronted you… you already had feelings for her." She looked down, fidgeting, like she was somehow the one at fault.

"I wouldn't do that." He said after a long stretch of silence. "I wouldn't- I couldn't- _damn." _ He ran his hand through his hair. "I don't- I never felt like that about Kikyo- I never fucking loved her. We dated years ago in high school. It was puppy love at best."

"Well, this time around it was more, I guess."

"Bullshit." He spat out, he turned to look at her, his eyes molten, serious. He reached out to her and gave a silent shout of triumph when she didn't pull away.

"I'm in love with you, Kagome. _Only_you." She gave him a sad smile. Not the thing he wanted to see.

"For now."

He refused to drop her gaze, fearing that once he did, it would be over. If he looked away, it would mean everything she and Miroku was saying was true. That he wasn't engaged to Kagome.

And that was fucking unacceptable.

So he held her there, locked in a battle of blue and amber.

Not even when Kikyo walked in the room did he look away.


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys! Thank you everyone that has been following along with this story and reviewing! The response was way more than I expected. I have a clear storyline for this in my head, and if anyone is interested I'm more than happy to write it! As always, thanks so much for reading!

Note: I've been posting the past two chapters in my one shots, but I decided to make it its own story! I'll post chapter 3 in the one shots, moving on will post it in _Missing_( s/13336246/1/Missing)

~.~

Missing Pt. III

He could hear her footsteps rushing towards him, his name falling off her lips in a rush. Even as she began to approach, Inuyasha refused to turn her way, choosing instead to hold Kagome prisoner with his stare. He could see it in her face, the uncertainty, the guilt, like she had done something terribly wrong and had just been caught; as Kikyo got closer to his bed, Kagome waivered, turning her gaze down. He felt rage building up, threatening to boil over as he continued to stare at her, looking fucking _ashamed_. Ashamed! Like she had done something wrong! She fidgeted, shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

Kikyo called out to his name once more, her voice a mix of relieved and sad, trying her best to break him from his daze. "You're finally-"

A sharp growl cut her off mid-sentence, an animalistic warning, making Kikyo jump back. Inuyasha sharply turned his head, eyes narrowed in anger with a scowl on his face, looking almost feral. "Leave." He snarled, fanged bared. The dog demons attempts to scare off the intruder might have worked on someone with a weaker will, but Kikyo was no stranger to the primal side of the hanyou. Instead of running for the hills, she simply frowned, not moving forward, but neither heeding his request. "Fucking _go!_" He practically barked out, tone severe, harsh.

"What lies have you been filling his head with?" Kikyo demanded, arms crossed over her chest to cut a more imposing figure, a true feat for a woman who measure no more than 5'4. Her accusation seemed to rattle Kagome, who had chosen to keep unusually quiet, her face contorting with anger. "I didn't do anything like that!" She snapped. Even though Inuyasha was on her side, because_of course_he was going to back her up, when she felt wronged her voice could be somewhat shrill; his ears flattened as she continued her assault. "He's got amnesia. He doesn't remember us breaking up."

"Were _not_broken up!" He interjected, teeth clenched, trying to make her understand.. Kagome raised her brows, giving Kikyo a rather smug look. "See?" She asked, throwing her hands up in exasperation. "Maybe if you were here, you'd know what was going on with him."

"He's been unconscious for a month." She justified. Inuyasha flicked his gaze towards her, keeping watch between the women standing on either side of him. "I had to work! As soon as I got the call that he woke up I got on the next flight to the city. Not that I have to explain myself to _you._" Kikyo added in for good measure. "Why are you even here? I thought you were banned." Inuyasha couldn't help but notice that she looked self-satisfied with her last remark.

"Banned?" He echoed, totally confused because how the hell would _Kagome_get banned from anywhere?_Finally_Kagome looked his way, like she just remembered he was in the fucking room; she blushed. Any other time he would've found it cute, this embarrassment and possibly funny story, but now he was feeling nothing short of rage. "_Banned?"_He spoke slower, angrier, making the machines to beep furiously. Great. Another damn spike in his blood pressure.

Another 24 hours in this God forsaken hell. A nurse promptly ran in, her hand readied on a walkie; clearly she had heard tales of his previous outbursts and was ready to call for backup immediately. "What's happening here?" She asked. Inuyasha was quick to answer that nothing was wrong, but Kikyo felt it was her place to interject. "She's not supposed to be here." She said, like it explained the entire situation. "She was banned from this hospital room last month. She's upsetting him."

Inuyasha had never felt pure rage before. He'd been mad, furious- sure. Dangerously angry? Yeah, he'd been accused of that. But rage? The kind so potent and powerful that he could take his supernatural strength and snap a neck in half? No, he hadn't felt that before, but _fuck_he was feeling it now. He had never thought it would be directed at his high school ex-girlfriend, but stranger things had happened.

Like everyone fucking telling him he dumped Kagome.

"_She's_not upsetting me." He ground out, trying to keep his cool. The nurse looked unimpressed, tilting her head to get a better look at Kagome. "Ma'am, is it true you were banned?" Kagome looked down at the floor and nodded. "I was given permission to come today. But I don't want to cause a problem."

"Special permission?" The nurse questioned, eyeing Kagome suspiciously. She nodded again, eyes still downcast. She considered Inuyasha, looking ready to rip the wires and IVs out of his arms as she questioned the woman on the side of him. She walked to the monitors, checking his vitals before she took her leave. The room felt stiff and awkward, the task seeming to take an eternity. When she was finished, she recorded the information on his chart. "Whatever your problems are, I suggest you work them out outside of the room. He needs peace and quiet, not a catfight." Thinking it was best for the patient to give a warning and space, she decided to momentarily back off. "If there's anymore trouble you're both out." She added as she walked out the door.

"I-I should go." Kagome stammered. Inuyasha whipped around to look up at her, pressing her lips together nervously. When did she start fidgeting so damn much? "No." He said sternly, but she only smiled at him in response. "I'm really glad you're okay, Inuyasha." She leaned down and wrapped her arms around him, giving him a gentle hug. He brought his hands up to her back, feeling more like a zombie than a person as she embraced her. She was leaving? _Leaving?_

Inuyasha breathed in, closing his eyes as he indulged in the spice of her natural scent and the cherry blossom body was she used. She inhaled and he felt her chest tremble.

This was a goodbye hug.

Panic struck him, that was the only was to describe what he did next. Locking his arms around her back, he pulled Kagome towards his chest. She yelped as her cheek was smushed, causing her lips to pucker. "Inuyasha!" She bucked, trying to get free of his hold. "Let me go!" The hanyou shook his head. "No." He answered, sounding more like a child throwing a tantrum than a full grown man. "Not until you promise you won't leave." He heard her sigh in frustration. "Inuyasha!" She protested, wiggling hopelessly against him.

"Inuyasha, let her go." Kikyo's tone left no room for guessing. She wasn't at all impressed by this show of affection. Nostrils flaring, his fiancé pressed against him in a body lock, he finally felt assured enough to address Kikyo the way his demon was demanding him to. "I don't know what the fuck you're doing here, but I want you to go." He argued. "She," he started, moving his right arm to motion to the woman held hostage, "isn't going anywhere. She's my fucking fiancé. I don't know what bullshit your trying to sell, but you need to fucking go." Kagome struggled beneath his grasp.

To her credit, Kikyo did her best to hide her pain. She processed his words, trying to swallow her feelings. "You- You're with me now." She tried, confidence breaking at the sight of her boyfriend gripping onto another woman for dear life. He shook his head, somehow making it look threatening, dangerous. When he spoke, it was low, wild. "Go." Kikyo looked up to the ceiling, trying to blink back her tears. "I'll go, for today. I- I wont hold this against you… you're sick." Her voice dropped. Finally, she took a deep breath and turned away. Stopping in the doorframe, she spoke, refusing to look back lest she lose her nerve. "I'll be back tomorrow."

It wasn't until Inuyasha was sure that she had left that he focused his attention on Kagome; she had stopped trying to fight against him, his demon strength no match for her. "Inuyasha?" She tried. "This- this is really uncomfortable. Let me go?" It came out as a question, pleading.

"I meant what I said." Inuyasha swept his thumb over her back, trying to soothe her, trying to soothe himself. "I'll let you go if you promise you won't go. We need-" Inuyasha stuttered. "We need to talk."

Kagome sighed beneath him, clearly defeated. "Fine," she said. "Let's talk."


	4. Chapter 4

Missing Pt. IV

~.~

Regrettably, he let her go; As he released his hold on Kagome, he immediately mourned, feeling uneasy, like she would bolt the second flesh left flesh. He knew her better than that, his judgement told him that she would keep her word; That did little, however, to ease the panic rising in his gut that made him want to grab hold of her and press her tighter. Taking a deep breath and leaning back, she straightened her spine, sitting in the chair by his side, close enough to seem friendly, but far enough that he would be ripping wires to reach her. Not that that would stop him.

"So…" she started, drawing out the word; perhaps an attempt to make the situation less awkward and tense, but it just made Inuyasha feel antsy. He had been adamant that she stick around for a conversation, but now that he was faced with the reality of it, he was running short on ideas. How was he going to make her stay, to make her understand when she clearly had one foot out the door? No, it was worse than that.

She was gone.

She cut her hair, must have a new life. Was she seeing anyone? She certainly wasn't seeing him. Did she still live in the apartment, or did she move? Come to think of it, where did _he_even live?

"Kagome…" He swallowed hard, her name sticking in his throat. "I don't- I-I cant wrap my head around this." He couldn't bring himself to look at her, choosing instead to fix his gaze on the crisp white sheets of his bed.

"I know." She replied sadly. "Well, I mean, I can imagine. This must be so confusing for you. From your stand point, I must be coming off as really cold." She bit her bottom lip before continuing. "I did try to see you. I'm really glad you're okay. Gods, I must sound like a broken record." She smiled a bit, not enough, not a true smile.

"Its just good to hear you." He returned her smile, small and gentle. "I woke up and I couldn't find you. I kept calling for you but…" Inuyasha shrugged, finally meeting her eyes. "I think they've got riot gear ready at the nurses station." He ran his right hand through his short locks, surprised once again at the choppy buzz cut. "I kind of had a meltdown."

"You? Lost your temper? That doesn't sound like you at all." She teased.

"Heh, well if you ever wake up with Miroku's face staring you down I think you'd lose it too." This evoked a laugh from her and he felt pride in that. It was a small victory, but one none the less. "Fair point." She conceded. He had asked her to stay, and it wasn't to talk about his perverted best friend. It was weighing on his chest, this unspoken weight. He needed to get through to her.

Inuyasha looked at her, amber eyes burning seriously. "I want to come home, Kagome." He could hear her breath hitch, his predator senses caught the way her mouth twitched.

"I-I can't- You can't." She started, clearly startled by his request. "We, we don't live together anymore." She managed. "You moved out… I think you might even live with Kikyo, I'm not sure." Kagome took a deep steadying breath then pouted her lips. "I think this is a conversation you need to have with her."

Inuyasha sat quietly for a minute, letting the silence settle over them. Closing his eyes, he shook his head, as if trying to piece together the broken pieces in his mind, a jumble of jigsaw pieces he couldn't make heads or tails of.

"You know, the last thing I remember… is apple picking." He smiled, watching Kagome carefully. Fall must have been quite some time ago. "Christ, how long ago was that? We made the plans like, a month in advance, you were so excited to make a damn pie and get cider. But then it- it rained and- fuck." The dog demon frowned, his last memory did not have the happiest ending, although according to the rest of the fucking world, there were worst stories he could remember. At least they were together in this one.

"Yeah, I was really disappointed." She nodded, confirming his story. "But then you got our umbrellas, and dug out our left over ponchos from when we visited Niagra Falls, those really gaudy neon green ones." She laughed a little, remembering for him. "We went apple picking in the rain, and got like, 3 huge bags of them. The owner thought we were crazy. And when we got back to the car the roads were so bad-"

"That we couldn't drive." He finished for her, a cocky smile revealing his sharp fangs. "I thought it would be fine, but you were nervous. Fuck, you went down on me just to make me just to make me pull over and park the car. That was very sneaky, Higurashi."

Kagome raised her brows, jaw slightly slack. "It was dangerous." She said.

"Keh, I'm not complaining." He smiled, and Kagome hated that she felt her stomach flutter, that he still had this effect on her. "The car really amplified your screams when you-"

"Shh!" Kagome jumped up from her seat, covering the hanyous mouth with her hands, nervously looking around to see if any nurses were ease dropping. With lightning speed, he licked her palm, causing her to yelp and move away. She hissed his name, although she wasn't angry, not really. It felt so natural, to play with her like this, to egg her on.

"I don't believe we broke up." He said, each word ruining the spell of their previous moment. Inuyasha shook his head in disbelief. "I can't." He swallowed hard. "I love you, so damn much."

"I don't know what you expect me to say to that." She said angrily. "I know time went in reverse for you, but Inuyasha, you moved on. You made a new life with Kikyo."

"My life is with you!" He yelled, causing the machine to beep once more. "Fuck!" He cursed, glancing in its direction, then back at her. He needed to calm down; Kagome was a patient woman, Gods knows more patient than he deserved, but flipping out now would only drive her away, he knew that much. He apologized, feeling embarrassed, torn between wanting to crawl under his bed and rip his hair out "I'll be leaving in two days if I keep this piece of shit from reacting." He motioned to the monitor. "I want to come home. Please, let me come home."

For a moment, she just looked at him, the man who was once so strong that he would lift her up without exerting the slightest bit of effort. He looked so desperate, and small even, wearing the hospital johnny in the railed bed. The last time she had seen him between the sheets he had looked invincible, like a warrior, his body pure sin, chiseled like some Greek statue, almost too good to actually exist. She wished she could go back, like he had, and crawl in with him, drink him in a little longer, love him one more time. But that wasn't reality, not anymore. It was tempting, Gods knew it was testing her will to not give in; but the man before her was a relic of the past, and as soon as he was caught up to speed, he would be gone.

And that was something she couldn't go through, not a second time.

Kagome shook her head, the salt from her tears blurring her vision. "I can't. I'm sorry."

~.~

"So, how did your meeting with Kagome go?" Mirkoku asked, pulling the arm chair close to the hospital bed. He reached over, handing his best friend a large brown paper bag, a container of hot ramen steaming inside. Inuyasha grunted his thanks, eagerly opening his prize. Hospital food was shit, and Myoga's Ramen House had no rivals; the smell alone had his stomach rumbling, a deeper hunger than he realized he had.

"Fucking depressing." He replied between slurps. "And confusing. But, alright, I guess, considering." He sighed, closing his eyes. "I don't know." Miroku raised his brows. "Alright, eh? That must mean there's some hope. I was surprised she even came at all."

"I didn't even know I needed hope, until you blissfully informed me that my life was over." He eyed Miroku, like it was somehow his fault that his life was in shambles. "Her just showing up was great." He swallowed. "The rest…" Inuyasha waived his hands at a loss for words. How could he sum up this fucked up situation? "I asked her if I could come home."

"Which, of course, she said no to." He scoffed, truly making Inuyasha feel like he was crazy for even asking. "You-"

"-Don't live together. Yeah, I fuckin' got it." Inuyasha covered his face with his hand, rubbing his temples as he did so. Miroku always brought a certain element of stress to his life, but this was the first time ramen was losing its flavor because of him.

"Maybe it's time to let her go." He said sympathetically. "She has her own life, you know? Since you broke up she-"

Inuyasha spread his fingers, peeking at Miroku as he spoke. "Do you want me to beat the crap out of you?" He asked. Miroku rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue.

"Such harsh words for the man who is taking you in. Are you sure you want to threaten your care giver, Inuyasha?"

"Its only temporary." He said, sitting up straighter. "I'll get her back."

Miroku laughed in disbelief. "No offense, but you don't even remember how you lost her. You don't have her number, or know where she lives or-"

"Feh, I'll find her." He tapped his nose. "She won't be hard to track down. She can't get away from me that easily."

Miroku blinked once, twice before he narrowed his eyes. "Are you- Are you openly admitting that you're going to stalk your ex-girlfriend?"

"Fiancé." He corrected. "and as far as I'm concerned, there's no 'ex'. We're just… postponing wedding plans right now."

"You are truly delusional, my friend. But you know- I've never seen you more optimistic." Miroku rested his palm against the hanyous forehead, as if checking his temperature. "Do they need to check your head again? Are you sure you're okay to come home with me?" Inuyasha pushed away Miroku's hand and scoffed.

"I'm not delusional. I love her- _we_love each other. It'll work out."

Miroku squinted at the silver haired dog demon. "Who even are you?"

"Hey, I need you to do me a favor." Inuyasha stated, more of a demand and less of an request.

"Ah, there's my pushy best friend. Back to normal." Miroku leaned back in his chair. "Me taking you into my humble home isn't enough?"

"I need you to go to Kikyo's house and get my shit." He answered.

"Excuse me?" The dark haired man balked. "Hell no. That's your drama."

"Listen," He started, "I'm going to need my stuff. The nurses told me that I don't even have an outfit to go home in, and as much as I know you admire my ass, I doubt everyone on the street is going be as appreciative." The hanyou rubbed the back of his neck, feeling more than irritated.

"Fine, I'll bring you some clothes." He answered snappily. "Why don't you just ask Kikyo yourself? Didn't she say she was coming in today?"

Inuyasha waved him off. "I put her on the no entry list."

"You what?" He questioned.

"No entry. As in 'Crazy life ruining ex-girlfriends from high school are not welcome within 50 feet of my hospital room. The last thing I need is Kagome thinking I'm talking to her. Besides, she makes my blood pressure spike."

"So you had her banned? Without even talking to her? Inuyasha she's your girlfriend."

"The last time I can remember having a conversation with her was fucking high school." Inuyasha grunted. "I don't need to explain my decisions to her. And shes not my damn girlfriend."

"Right. You _do_know you live with her?" Miroku folded his arms across his chest.

"Which is exactly why I need you to get my shit. I can't give Kagome the wrong impression." Miroku leaned back in shock. Inuyasha was so sure of himself that his nonsense almost sounded sane.

"This is an enormously bad idea." He argued. "You've been dating Kikyo for months."

Inuyasha eyed him cautiously, then leaned forward with a whisper. "But was I happy?" The hanyou asked, his voice low, afraid. "Did I _seem_happy?" Even though his gut told him the answer, that there was no possible way that he could have found peace with anyone but his fiancé, he had to ask.

Miroku pressed his lips together in a tight line before answering, blue eyes searching amber. He was cautious when he spoke. "Honestly, I don't know. I didn't see you much. I figured it was new love bliss." He shrugged. "But anytime I tried to talk to you about it, you shut down the topic real quick." He looked down, letting his unconfirmed theories of his best friends unhappiness settle. "You really think you can get her back?" He asked.

"I _have _to." He said seriously. "She's the most important thing in my life. Its like…" He breathed deeply before finishing. "Its like I was born to be with her." He looked away at his admission, a slight blush gracing his cheeks.

Miroku screwed up his nose at Inuyasha's tender confession, a side of him he had never seen before, and honestly, could do without. But maybe it was just that he had never seen his best friend desperate. They had always been a good couple, a great one actually, the right mix of playful and loving, the kind of relationship that seemed steady, too sure to crack. Apparently, the loss of Kagome was enough to make him sink. "Fine," He said, throwing up his hands in surrender. "I'll get your things." Inuyasha gave a quick nod of appreciation.

"This is going to be epically awkward." Miroku sighed. "I can't believe I'm going to do this. I'm basically breaking up with Kikyo _for you_." He eyed Inuyasha crossly. "How did I get sucked in to doing your dirty work?"

Inuyasha tapped his head. "Brain damage, remember?" He gave his friend a slick smile.

"_Ohhh_, that excuse is already getting old."

~.~

This chapter took foreveeeer for me to write. I wasn't super happy with how it turned out, but I couldn't seem to make it better. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it, and thanks as always for reading! 3


	5. Chapter 5

Hey hey! I hope this chapter finds everyone well :) I had a super stressful week- I was given two really great job opportunities and had to make a choice on a deadline, and I think I drove everyone crazy weighing the pros and cons. I dove into writing this while procrastinating and giving my loved one a break from my (very voiced) indecision. Hope you like it!

Also found on Tumblr ( blog/ajoy3fanfics)

~.~

"You owe me, like, ten times over dude." Miroku complained as he walked through the threshold of his small, no- _their_-small apartment. He carried a large brown box in his hands, full of his new roommates things and set them on the counter with a loud _thud_. Inuyasha glanced over at Miroku and resisted the urge to roll his eyes. The guy had done him a favor, a _huge_one, so he had to curb his instincts to mock his best friend.

"I know, you've told me about a million times. On the way home from the hospital, this morning when you _angrily_made coffee." He held up his fingers, ticking off the ways for dramatic effect. "While you were driving in the car on the way there. Walking up the damn steps to her house. On the way home, when you tried to give me every detail-"

"Because you were astoundingly uninterested!" He interrupted. "How can you not care, or-or- at the very least be a little interested in how your quasi break up went?"

Inuyasha waived him off. "Can't remember dating her, so why should I be interested in the break up?" Extra drama just for the sake of it? No thanks. His interest was on Kagome. The minute he had come home and taken a shower- a real one, with real shampoo, not the cheap shit the hospital gave out- he was dressed and ready to hunt her down. He was pretty sure Miroku laced his food with pain killers, because after he scarfed down his ramen, he became too tired to even move. Conceding that maybe, just _maybe_he needed some rest before he went on the hunt didn't sit well with him, but he had no other choice; it was either take it easy and get well, or pass out somewhere on the side walk and get re-admitted to that nut house they called a hospital. He placated his ego by trying to track her online, tracing her digital footprint.

Except she had none. He couldn't find her _anywhere!_

"It was a nightmare, just so you know." Miroku filled him in, his tone quick, snappy. "That woman is a freaking ice queen. She watched over me like a hawk without saying a word. I still have chills!" He cried, crossing his arms over his chest and rubbing them for pseudo-warmth.

"I got it." He said threw his hands up in surrender. "I owe you." This time _did_roll his eyes before sinking back down into the cushions. But not before turning his head so his best friend couldn't see.

That would just be rude.

Inuyasha looked up at him, as if remembering for the first time that Miroku had come back with his things, and not just attempts at emotional blackmail_._"Hey, did you find my red hoodie? How about my old necklace, the one with the beads? Or-"

"_Yes_and yes." He snapped. "If you wanted an itemized list you should've just gone yourself." Miroku narrowed his eyes at his best friend, not for the first time realizing that living together was going to be an adjustment. He was happy to do it, of course, and thankful Inuyasha had made it out of his coma okay, but damn if he wasn't one of the most think headed bastards he knew. Wearily, as if the fight and stress of the day had hit him all at once, he let out a long suffering sigh. It would do no good to harp on the dog demon about Kikyo; Once Inuyasha was set on something, there was no changing his mind, and right now, he was only focused on getting Kagome back.

"I can't believe they recovered that from the crash." He said, nodding towards the phone in the demons clawed hands. "Your bike was completely totaled, but amazingly, your phone wound up without a scratch."

The dog demon grunted as he examined case. "It's the otterbox. Nothing breaks this shit. Best 35 dollars you'll ever spend."

"I would've taken your word without a near death demonstration." He mocked. Inuyashas focused was back on the phone, and clearly unhappy. "Any luck?" He questioned, his tone considerably less edgy.

"I cant find her on facebook." He complained. "Or Instagram, snapchat. Anything! Its like she disappeared!"

"Did you really think you'd be communicating or sharing memes after the horrific break up you had?"

"Horrific?" He echoed. "Wh-"

"Nope." Miroku held up his hand, effectively cutting off his question. "Not going down that rabbit hole. All I'm saying is she hasn't gone MIA. She's just blocked you."

The demon knit his brows together as he considered Mirokus words, running his tongue over his sharp fang before he spoke. "If you know that," he said, "that means you have her on social media. She hasn't blocked _you."_

Pressing his lips into a thin line, Miroku firmly told him no. No way was he going to let Inuyasha just peruse though his phone so he could stalk his ex. He drew the line at being an accomplice to a misdemeanor. Complaining that he was hot and sweaty, and above all, irritated, he was going to take a shower to cool off; Miroku disappeared into his room, retrieving a spare change of clothes and a towel- and no phone.

He had left it on his nightstand, plugged into the charger, never thinking that his best friend would invade his space like that; Inuyasha was someone who valued privacy, and although stubborn, respected a boundary when one was given. That's why he was so shocked to see the dog demon sitting crossed legged on his bed, red flannel pajamas a sharp contrast to his crisp white sheets, face pale as a ghost. Inuyasha must have heard him turn the shower knob, letting the water come to a stop, the click of the door handle opening, his footsteps steadily approaching the door; but he never moved, made no effort to hide it. When he finally looked Mirokus way, he swallowed hard.

"She has a boyfriend."


	6. Chapter 6

It looked like his entire body wilted; ears drooped, shoulders sagged, the phone he had fought so hard for looked heavy in his limp hand. All of him looked utterly defeated, a sight so polar opposite from the feisty hanyou who prided himself on his strength. Miroku thought back to the time he has visited Inuyasha on a job site, purposefully coming early to catch a glimpse of his best friend and possibly embarrass him; He found him in the center of the action, the construction sight little more than dirt and steel, Inuyasha hoisting up the heavy metal himself, then bracing it as his employees came round to assist. Finishing quickly, he called for his crew to go to lunch, walking over to him with sweat on his brow and a smile. He looked more like a god with his Herculin strength than a half demon; In that moment, Miroku was convinced he was invincible. Now Inuyasha looked like a shell of the man he once was. Miroku stood in the doorway, unsure of what to do next or how to approach.

"Did you know?" The hanyou asked, gaze fixated on the wall in front of him. Miroku swallowed hard before answering.

"Kinda. Sort of." Miroku combed his hands through his damp hair.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Inuyasha asked wearily.

"Oh, yeah, I'm going to be the one to break it to guy who just got released from the hospital with brain trauma that the ex girlfriend he's fixated on has started dating."

When Inuyasha made no signs of movement, he wondered if what he said registered at all. Sighing, he walked to the dresser, leaning against it. "I knew she was seeing someone. I'm not sure how serious it is."

That finally got Inuyashas attention; he turned lethargically to look at him. When he said nothing, Miroku continued on, desperate to ease the tension.

"I know she's gone out a few times with him, that's whats Sango said at least." Hearing her best friends name, the dog demons ears perked up.

"What does Sango say about him?" He asked. Miroku pressed his lips together, letting out a long winded _hmmmm_.

"Honestly?" He asked. Inuyasha nodded, saying nothing. "She thinks he's okay. A little conceited perhaps, but Sango thinks hes good for her. She needed to move on. And he…he seems to really like Kagome." He finished with a shrug.

"But does Kagome _like_him?" He blurted in a rush, the first burst of energy he had seen in a while. His golden eyes seemed bright and fragile, like Mirokus answer could make or break him. He knew he had to tell him the truth, give him a dose of reality, but he had to do it delicately.

"Dude, she wouldn't be seeing him if there wasn't _something_she liked. Maybe it's best to let her go." He crossed over to the bed, taking a seat near his oldest friend and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Kagome was a mess when you guys split. She's finally putting her life back together. Maybe you should just let it be, you know? She's moving on and you can too. If you don't want it to be with Kikyo fine, but-"

Inuyasha let the words rattle around his brain as he let Miroku prattle on, paying very little attention to what he was saying. Once he suggested he should stop pursing Kagome he had very little interest in hearing the rest. Knitting his brows together as he tried to piece together this fucked up mess he was in. So Kagome was with some guy, and was probably happy. _Probably_.

When they were together there was no question as to how she felt. She was always giving him smiles, small touches that were discrete yet intimate, just enough to let others know she was his, and he was hers. They were happy together, he _knew_it. He would come home from work, still sweaty and dirty despite cleaning up before leaving, and she would never shy away from his embrace, laughing as she shriveled up her nose, directing him to the shower with a playful push. They would go to bed together, sometimes separate, yet still wake up tangled in each other. And as for the bedroom- well, he could stake his life on it that she was happier with him. He brought his attention back to Miroku, still in the middle of his sermon.

"-There's plenty of other women out there, man. Kagome's great and all but its time to move on."

Seriously? He was telling him to let Kagome go off and be with some asshole, just like that?

"You want me to let her go?" He spat. "No way in Hell."

Miroku frowned. "You already did. I know you don't remember man, but the world has kept spinning. It's been a long time for all of us since you two split. Its not fair to her to put this on her, not when she's finally getting over you."

Was he being selfish? It wouldn't be the first time he was accused of it.

But the idea of letting Kagome go…

He wasn't sure he could do it.

From everything he'd gathered, their break up hadn't been easy on Kagome;

"I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I can let her go. Especially to some conceited prick. I cant give her to him." His voice was raw, cracked.

"She's not yours to give away." His tone was firm. "She's not a toy or something you own; she makes her own choices, Inuyasha." Its not like this was easy on her either." Miroku sighed. "Even as hurt as she was, she still came running to see you in the hospital. I'm sure she still has some lingering feelings for you- it would make sense. But shes _just _starting to move on." Miroku's voice grew sterner. "Maybe you could get to her. _Maybe_you could break her and this guy up, and squeeze your way back in her heart. But does she deserve that? Doesn't she have a right to be with who she wants? Just because you _can_do something, doesn't mean you _should_."

Maybe he was right.

Maybe he should let her be. He knew in his heart, in his gut, his soul called for her; that if he somehow recovered his memories he wouldn't regret his choice to send Kikyo away, to try and pursue Kagome to the ends of the Earth. As certain as he was that _she_was who he wanted… He couldn't say the same for her. _Did _she even want him? Back then, without a doubt, but now…? Who the hell was he to judge for her? The details of their demise were sparse, but he obviously did a number on Kagome. If he did half the things she and Miroku were saying he did, what right did he have to love her? Should he let her go?

It would hurt like fucking Hell.

Inuyasha looked down at the phone in his hand, the picture of Kagome still lighting up the screen. She was wearing a white summer dress, a floppy sun hat shielding her from the harsh sunlight. She was in a field of sun flowers, the yellow glow surrounding her, a stranger with blue eyes and a white smile by her side. She had asked him to go with her, practically _begged_him to. He dismissed the idea easily, not wanting to go just for a pictures sake. Kagome had insisted that they could pick the flowers, that the farm looked like it came out of a dream, but Inuyasha was unmoved.

She looked spectacular; he wished so badly he had gone with her then, taken the time to do the little things. And she was right; the pictures were amazing- _she_looked amazing. Studying the picture, he couldn't help but wonder: is she happy?

"I swear I know this fucker from somewhere." He grunted, finally pulling his eyes from the image of her. Every time he saw it, it felt like his heart was shattering. He was afraid to scroll further; he didn't know how he'd handle if it if he saw her in the arms of another man, another _demon._

"That's Koga." Miroku supplied. "They work together. He's the gym teacher at her school."

_Fuck._

So she spent her entire day, Monday through Friday around this guy? Was he making moves on her while they were together? Did he try anything? That fucker probably slipped right in when they broke up. He probably saw an opportunity and pounced. He-

"Slow your roll." Mirkoku cut through his spiraling thoughts. "I can already see where you're going with this. You're going to give yourself wrinkles if you think this hard." Miroku stood up and promptly grabbed the phone from his hand. "She met him a like 2 months ago. He's a new teacher at her school."

Inuyasha frowned. For some reason, that didn't make him feel better.

"Come onnnn." Miroku drew out the word. "You've been given a second chance at life here! A do over! Any mistakes you made In the last six months, fuck, you don't even remember them! We should be celebrating. It's a miracle your alive, and okay. We need to be living it up. So what if Kagomes dating. You should date too!" He was practically bursting with energy. "I'll take you to a singles bar."

"Pass, thanks." He commented quickly, immediately disliking the idea. His best friend laughed, knowing what his reaction would be. The fact that he didn't say '_I'm not single, asshole_' was already an improvement on their earlier conversations.

"Just think about it. If you're going to disrupt her life, make sure its worth it. Now in case you didn't notice, I need to finish getting ready, so get out."

As he was pushed out of the bedroom (literally) Inuyasha couldn't help but wonder:

Should he let her go?

He knew he didn't want to. Everything in him screamed not to.

But was it just selfishness?

For the first time, he needed to asked himself "what is best for Kagome?"

He wasn't sure he was going to like the answer.


	7. Chapter 7

There wasn't many things Inuyasha was sure of anymore, but there were a _few_key things he would stake his life on; First, he had screwed up, in some majorly colossal way, and now he and Kagome were not together anymore. Second, he was lucky as hell to have the employees he did in his company, who kept it up and running when he was in the hospital; Third, and most importantly (he couldn't stress this enough)- he was going to murder Miroku.

No, it hadn't always been that way. Before the capricious man used to hold the title as his best friend! He hadn't always wanted to strangle the life out of him and watch as the smirk faded away from his lips; but as Miroku sat by his side at the table, a smug look of satisfaction on his face as he nudged him playfully with his shoulder, Inuyasha was sure that by the night was over, he was going to kill him.

"See?" He whispered, low enough so that only the hanyou could hear, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "I told you didn't I? Yukka is great!" He raised his brows suggestively, indicating that he was referring to more than her personality. "This is exactly what you need."

Miroku had set him up on a damn blind date. The bastard had to die.

Funny, he always assumed his best friend would have been done in by an angry ex-lover; angry ex-best friend had to hold some merit, right?

It had been a month since he had left the hospital and came home to Miroku's one bed, one bath apartment. It was cramped, sure, and not ideal to be spending his lonesome nights on the leather couch instead of snuggled behind Kagome, the sweet smell of her soft scent lulling him to sleep. It wasn't perfect, but it was bearable. He was happy to be with a friend than utterly alone going through this alone.

Small mercies, right?

Living with together with Miroku was nostalgic; They settled into a routine fairly quickly, already knowing each other's likes and dislikes, not having changed much since their roommate days in college. Inuyasha was still sensitive to noises early in the morning and Miroku still hated it when Inuyasha left a dirty dish in the sink. Spending time apart and growing up had made the transition a much easier one than when they were still in their teens. A little care and consideration, and a lot of maturity made the whole thing a lot easier; except for the no Kagome thing. That was rather annoying.

Once the initial shock of Kagome dating had worn off it was replace with anger, so strong it was borderline blinding. When he stood up, ready to beat his competition bloody, Miroku had talked him down. Why not wait? He had asked. Inuyasha had difficulty controlling himself when he barked out his response. She was dating! There was already too much time wasted! Any second he spent talking it over with him was another second she was in the arms of someone else.

Had she kissed him? Have they fucked? Did she love this guy? Did she love _him?_Dangerous questions raced through his mind making him dizzy. He had to sit down on the bed, head in hands while he breathed deeply.

Miroku patted his shoulder sympathetically. "Why not wait until your memory returns? Then you can go forward with all the facts. If you go now, in this state, you could say or do something to make things worse and she might never forgive you. Just wait, my friend."

Is what the bastard said.

But what he meant was "it's time to get over her."

That was never more clear than it was now, with a leggy brunet sitting across from him, biting her lip as she shyly stole a glance at him. His ear twitched as he picked up her hushed whisper "He's really cute." To the friend at her side.

It was obvious that Miroku had very little faith in his ability to get Kagome back, and this was probably an act of kindness in his fucked up mind. Who the hell sets an engaged man up on a blind date?

Sort of engaged, that is. Miroku never failed to remind him of that

Kagome talk was strictly off limits.

Miroku had insisted that it wasn't fair, and down right creepy to stalk her. Inuyasha, on the other hand, disagreed. What was wrong with keeping tabs on her? She was always so clumsy, constantly tripping into things. And so bad with directions! What if she got lost and needed him? Apparently, he was "obsessive" and maybe that's why "she left his crazy ass."

Miroku had gotten a black eye from that one. He wasn't even that upset; he knew it was crossing the line, and it made him look 'tough'.

Or that's what he told him when Yuri walked over to them, wearing a slim, low cut black dress that left little to the imagination. On her arm was a stunning woman, the type that could have stepped out of a magazine. She was tall and sexy, with long brown hair that fell around her shoulders in soft waves. When the pair sat down at the table, Yuri leaning over to give Miroku a kiss on the cheek and then introduce Yukka, Inuyasha felt his world turn red. His traitorous ex best friend was going to _pay._When he had figured out what was going on, albeit a little too slowly, he immediately stood up, ready to walk away. Miroku tugged on his wrist, doing his best to pull the hanyou down toward his seat. "You owe me." He said under hushed breath, loud enough so that only he could hear. "No." His stern voice left no room for argument, but Miroku was relentless. "_Yes._Give it a shot and I wont bug you about it again. If you leave so will my date. You _owe_me, man." He stood up to greet the guests, introducing the two women; Inuyasha gave little more than a grunt of acknowledgement as they sat down.

His plan was to get the night over with as fast as possible. Then he could go back to discussing his Kagome related theories out loud and Miroku wouldn't be able to say a damn thing.

"It's so awesome you own your own business." Yukka said after taking a sip of her drink. "My father used to run a convince store. My brother took it over after he retired. It's so much work when you're the boss. I basically spent my childhood stocking shelves." She laughed at her memory and Inuyasha smiled, trying to be polite. He could relate to that; he had worked at his father's company from infancy, his mother answering the phones while he napped in the play pen. Clients used to remark how family oriented the business was, and it would keep their business.

But he told her none of that, of course. That was information he didn't need to share, not with Yukka anyway. He pressed his lips together in a thin smile and nodded, a look of clear disinterest on his face as he took a sip of his beer, thinking of all the ways he was going to maim Miroku when they returned home.

Although from the way Yuri had her hands all over him, whispering things in his ear that make even Miroku blush, he doubted his roommate was leaving with him.

When he got home from his escapades _then_he would kill him. Who the hell did he think he was, trying to set him up? He wasn't looking for some one night stand, or a something that could turn serious. He was interested in _Kagome._

"We're going to go order some more drinks at the bar." Miroku suddenly said, after grasping Yuri's hand and leading her away. Somehow, Inuyasha doubted it; if he was a betting man, he would put money on the pair finding an empty bathroom stall and Yuri on her knees.

"This is pretty awkward, isn't it?" Yukka said, idly pushing around the noodles on her plate. "I really don't like blind dates."

"I didn't even know I was going on a date." He supplied rather bitterly.

"Sounds like an ambush." She gave him a half smile as she leaned in closer, resting her head on her hands. "How terrible for you."

Inuyasha shrugged. "It's always terrible when Miroku is around a woman. Its unpleasant for everyone involved."

She laughed and Inuyasha felt awkward. He hadn't meant to be funny, people in general didn't find his wit amusing. He knew his humor was often dry and lacking, finding that it grew on people over time. Either Yukka was being polite or she had some odd tastes. "He seems alright." She said. "I mean, clearly he's a flirt and is just looking for a good time, but hey, that's Yuri's type." She sighed before she continued, a kind smile gracing her lips. "You don't have to stay, you know. I mean, I don't want you to feel obligated to sit and have dinner with me because your friend forced you to. Like I said, blind dates suck, so I wouldn't be offended. I totally get it."

The silence felt heavy when he finished talking, like he needed to fill it. It wasn't like he could come out and tell her that he needed to stay for the duration in order to rub it in Mirokus face. He watched as she sat back a little, absent-mindedly rubbing her hand over her arm, clearly chilly. He would have offered his hoodie, if it was Kagome. Then again, if it was Kagome _she_would have forced him to bring one, always fearful he would get sick despite his far superior immune system. She liked to care for him in those small ways, even if it didn't make a difference. She treated him like anyone else. Inuyasha swallowed hard, needing to change the subject. It was hard to think of her without wanting to cry and fling the heavy ceramic plate across the room at the same time.

"I'm-I don't mind staying, but I have to let you know… I'm not interested in dating, or hooking up or anything like that." He stated bluntly.

She nodded, her hair bouncing. "Good, neither am I." Inuyasha scoffed, clearly not buying her story.

"So why did you agree to come? If you don't like blind dates, and you're not looking for a relationship or getting laid."

Yukka smiled. "Have you _met_Yuri? She gets herself into bad situations all the time. Part of me wanted to go just to make sure she wasn't seeing some creep and would make it back alive. But, the other part of me was interested." She smiled as leaned forward a bit. "It's been a while since I dated. I got out of a long term relationship and just dove into work. It's hard to meet people, you know? Even if we don't have a love connection, its fun to get out, isn't it?"

"Haven't you heard of dating apps?" He scoffed. "They're literally made for that. Plenty of fish, tinder, any of that ring a bell?" Not that he ever used them, but he'd heard of them at least.

She laughed, soft and full at the same time. "How long have you been out of the dating scene? Those are for hook ups, buddy. The last guy I met on tinder was a doctor. He liked to ski in the winter and go out on his boat in the summer and volunteered at an animal shelter on the weekends."

Inuyasha narrowed his brows. "That doesn't sound too bad." He said. Did this woman have incredibly high standards or what? "So why aren't you out on the doctors boat instead of having cheap beers with me?"

"Yeah, all good in theory. Except do you know who _actually_showed up?"

"Who?" He asked, and before he even realized it, he was engaged and enjoying her conversation. She was easy to talk to. His jaw actually dropped when she told her story, and before he knew it, he found himself chatting back. It wasn't an unpleasant way to spend the night.

Miroku and Yuri returned later, looking disheveled and flushed, only to find the table missing one key player. "Where's Inuyasha?" Mirkou asked, raking a hand through his black hair.

Yukka shrugged. "He said he had to go. I- I thought we were having a good time, then he just stood up and left." She pouted a bit, making her lips look even puffier. Yuri rushed to her side and somehow Miroku knew he was going home alone tonight.

Mirkou frowned as he looked at the half eaten plate of chicken and the bills thrown down on the table to cover his fare. It was a bold move, trying to set Inuyasha up; back in their college days the man was a literal dog. He could smooth talk any woman he wanted, although it didn't seem to take much back then. He had no interest in relationships, no interest in settling down in any way, shape or form.

But then he met Kagome.

It was like he did a complete 180 overnight. He met her and came back to their dorm starry eyed. He took her out for a date, and actual _date_, and barely managed to kiss her he was so nervous. From the moment he first spoke about her, he knew his best friend was ruined.

Really, he should have known better trying to set him up, but the man was so heart broken he thought a distraction woud do him some good. Once he had Kagome, there was no one else for him; When he heard the news that he and Kagome broke up he easily brushed it off as bullshit. There was no way he would have broken up with her, no way he would have found someone else.

Honestly, he wasn't surprised Inuyasha fled. Without being told, he knew where he had gone, and for his sake, he hoped he wouldn't screw this up.

~.~

He found himself outside of their door - _her_door now. Just hers. He didn't live there anymore. It was a shot in the dark, checking their old apartment to try and find her, but for once, the Gods were on his side. She hadn't moved, the scent wafting from the doorframe told him that.

It also told him she wasn't home.

It had been so long since he saw her, so long since he spoke to her. It was nice, talking to Yukka. She was pretty and fun and a great story teller. It was easy to spend time with someone like that.

But it didn't matter.

She wasn't Kagome.

It wasn't that he forgot about her when they started to talk; Kagome wasn't the only thing that raced through his mind. It was true, at first, that he compared her to his fiancé. Kagome was prettier, her curves more his taste and her darker hair gave her pale skin a beautiful contrast. Yukka was taller, but that wasn't necessarily a good thing; He liked that Kagome was short, liked to watch her stand on her tippy toes as she stretched to get the rice from the second shelve in the cupboard.

But as the date wore on, he found himself comparing less and just enjoying the company. She was interesting and had some crazy stories to share. And he just kept thinking 'I've got to tell Kagome about this. She would eat this shit up.' His thoughts always came back to her. He was sitting across from a great woman, really- she was a catch- but it never crossed his mind. What he did think about his how Kagome would react when he retold her escapades- about the surprise ending and how she would sit on the edge of her seat as he delivered the punch line, leaning in closer to him like she always did when she was invested in a story, how she would playfully hit his shoulder in excitement, no doubt because she would have 'called it' earlier. There was no way he could move on; in his mind, he was still dating Kagome. He wanted that, wanted her and no one else; He could have easily bedded Yukka, could have easily found a dozen women to take her place. But if it wasn't Kagome, it didn't matter, tonight's debacle proved that. He wanted to see her again, wanted to wrap himself around her and find the comfort he was so sorely lacking. He wanted to go home.

So he did; the ache in his chest was painful, he felt like he couldn't breathe. He knew that the only way he would find an ounce of relief was with _her,_not a substitute. He apologized and placed some bills on the table before he bolted out of the door, heading in the direction his heart told him he should've gone weeks ago. Maybe Miroku was right; maybe he should wait until his memory returned, maybe he would make things worse by showing up at her doorstep, fresh from a date.

But he didn't care.

He wasn't sure what he would find when he ran down the same street he used to walk, climbed the steps two at a time, gripping the rail more out of nerves than for support. Once he was sure that she still lived in their building he breathed a sigh of relief; but it was short lived- the next hurdle was what or _who_would he find when he got there? He was ready to fight for her, that wasn't the issue. The real problem would be holding back and not actually killing the bastard who dared to take his place. He had waited too long, allowed another to take his spot like a fool. Not any longer.

Well, a little longer. He was amped up and full of nerves and she wasn't home. The tension eased, a little, as he slid to the floor, back against the white door. Where was she? Out with that Koga guy? Taking the pictures _he_should've taken? Were they eating together, having a date much like he was just minutes earlier? Was he about to take her home? Was she thinking about him, feeling the same pain he did? Or was it all too late?

He decided he would sit there and wait; Best case, she came alone. Worse case, she didn't come at all…. Or came with _him_. And that just wasn't acceptable, not anymore. He wouldn't lose his nerve, wouldn't budge until he saw her, would be leave until she heard him out. He-

Her scent came to him, crisp and refreshing. His heart was beating double speed, he was sure she could heart its anxious sound from the stair well. When he heard her voice, his breath hitched in his throat, nerves strained as he opened and clenched his fists as her figure came into full view, a bags of groceries in her hand, and _thankfully_, no one by her side. Her blue eyes were wide with shock as she let out a small gasp of surprise. 

"Inuyasha?"


	8. Chapter 8

Kagome blinked once, twice, trying to figure out if the figure standing in her doorway _really_was her ex-fiancé, before closing them tightly, looking half way psychotic. '_Deep breaths, girl. Its not really him. You're seeing things, just like before. Its not really Inuyasha, just wishful thinking. You'll open your eyes and poof, he'll be gone.' _She counted to three and felt her heart race as the man before her clearly had not disappeared, but neither did he take a step towards her.

She tilted her head, taking in his full image. His shoulders were hunched as he dug his hands into the pockets of his hoodie, a twisted scowl on his face as he altered from completely avoiding her gaze and giving shy, unsure peeks in her direction. His entire body looked tense, and more infuriatingly,_hot_. How could he look so damn _good_just standing there? It pissed Kagome off that she could go months without seeing him, but the second she did she was weak in the knees and her stomach in knots.

It used to be something she liked, back when they were a couple. The man would so much as look at her with those amber eyes and she was a puddle of want. Now… Now she needed to get over it. They- well, there was no 'they' anymore. It was he and Kikyo. She and Koga. They were nothing more than history, over and done with, and yeah, she sometimes longed to revisit, especially on those long, lonely nights, but that wasn't reality. She couldn't let Inuyasha have this effect on her, not anymore. Giving herself a mental shake, she gripped the grocery bags in her hand, knuckles turning white and let out a shaky breath.

"Inuyasha?" She asked. Her voice made him snap to attention, eyes trained on her, somehow hard and fragile all at once. "What are you doing here?" She did her best to hide the lump in her throat, but the words still choked her. She didn't want Inuyasha to notice that seeing him here was like witnessing a ghost, a piece of her past she wanted to wrap herself in.

It was hard to look at her. Rationally, he knew Kagome was different, but _fuck_it felt so familiar- like coming home, because damn it, this _was_his home. And she _was_his woman.

Is. She still _is_his woman. He couldn't let Miroku keep swaying him. Seeing her ready to open _their_door, to _their_home, still in her work clothes, ingredients for their dinner bagged and ready to be cooked… it just felt right. This was where he belonged. Not with Kikyo or Miroku or anyone else on the damn planet. With Kagome.

He needed to go home.

Closing the distance between them, he stood over Kagome, her frame smaller than he remembered in his absence. Kagome sucked in a breath, hating and loving the scent of him that was filling her head and making her dizzy. Kagome was certain the hanyou could hear her heart beating at double speed as he locked eyes with her, bending slightly as slid his hands over hers, causing her to jump at the unexpected contact. Inuyasha had managed to transfer the bags into his own hands and removed the weight from hers. He gave her a crooked smile and said, "I'm here to help with these," He motioned towards the bags, slightly nodding his head. "What else?"

She was wordless, in complete shock as she watched him walk to the doorway, and wait, raising his brows when she didn't move to unlock the door. "You coming?" He asked. The whole thing was off. Did- Did he lose more time, more of his memory? Did he forget that they were not together? She winced thinking about having to go through that situation again. The break up was hard enough, but having to do it a second time was torture. She really wasn't sure she would be able to withstand it a third time. Swallowing hard, she stood her ground.

"I- I don't think it's a good idea you're here." Kagome bit her bottom lip, watching for a sign of… well she didn't know what.

"Why?" He questioned, tone clipped. "You're boyfriend going to get mad?" His expression seemed to change into something darker. Kagome felt like the wind was knocked out of her; she wasn't sure if she should be happy that he wasn't worse off, or upset, the way he was talking. Hearing her ex talk about her current dating situation made her stomach sink. He spoke low, his sharp fangs bared with his threat. "Bring him. Let him say it to my fucking face." He could feel his blood boiling, feel the rage building inside of him, ready to take on whoever dared to warm his fiancés bed. Inuyasha took in her surprise, her eyes wide with shock, the way her body language changed and knew he needed to calm himself down or he was going to blow everything. "Look, I'm- I'm sorry." He said, breathing out deeply. Kagome arched her brow; sorry wasn't something the hanyou said often. "Can- Can you just open the door? I only want to talk. If… if you don't want me to stay, I get it. I'm not trying to make things hard for you. I can set these down and leave. I just want to talk. Even if its just 5 minutes. I'm-" He sighed and looked up at the ceiling, as if the white tiles could grant him the words he needed to convince her. "I'm so fucking confused. I just- I just need to clear a few things up. I'm really struggling, Kagome."

She considered, for a moment, telling him to leave. Set down the bags and just turn around. His problems were not _hers_,not anymore at least. But when was the last time she had seen him so vulnerable? When had he needed her, _really_needed her like this? It was only natural that he had questions, and logically, the person he would turn to for answers would be her.

Even after everything he had put her through, she wouldn't be able to turn him away. Crossing the space, she took her key and unlocked the door, hesitating before she pushed it open, stepping aside so the hanyou could pass through. He muttered his thanks as he placed the things down on the table, taking a not so subtle look around the room.

Not much had changed. The kitchen was tidy, a few odd dishes drying on the rack, the living room still arranged in the same manner. The pictures on the wall were different. Faces he recognized in places he had never gone- things that had happened after they split. Not for the first time, he thanked God that she hadn't moved, that he could find her easily, that things seemed _normal_here. "I can't believe you're still here." He mumbled. This had never meant to be permanent, just a cheaper spot to live while Inuyasha and his team worked on their home. They figured they could accrue a savings if they lived in a less than stellar house and pour it all into the plot of land Inuyasha was building their dream home on. He said his comment in what he meant to be gratefulness, however it rubbed Kagome the wrong way.

"Well you didn't leave me with much of an option." She said, rummaging through the groceries as she began to put things away. Turning in her direction, he walked over to the table and grabbed a jar of peanut butter and opened the cabinet door, placing it on the bottom shelf. A small moment he relished. A small piece of normal. A small piece of _them_. "What do you mean?" he asked. Kagome did not look his way as she answered, choosing to focus on her task.

"You left me in a mountain of debt and a lease." She answered, tone cold and precise. "We had deposits and payment plans on everything from the furniture to wedding venues and when we made purchases it was based off of a two income household. By the time I was able to pay off some of it, staying here was the cheapest option."

Inuyasha did he best to hide his surprise. How could any of that be possible? Okay, so they did break up, but was he really so much of an asshole that he wouldn't help set her right? He thought about her car, how worried she was about the high payments, but he insisted that she get a decent vehicle, adamant he would help her. They were a couple, right? What was his was hers, no question. If she needed some help paying for a car that would keep her safe he was happy to do it. Inuyasha had a sinking feeling in his gut as he thought of it now. "How? Why didn't I take half the debt, or help pay it off?" He asked. "Was I really that much of an ass?"

It was hard to stay mad at him like this, helpless and unsure of everything, but Kagome refused to be swayed. "Post break up Inuyasha wasn't my favorite version of you." She looked him up and down, still helping unpack her things and gods, she must've seen him do this a thousand times. It brought back a tender memory that softened some of her anger. "Besides," She sighed, "its not like I asked you to help shoulder it." She put the last of her things away and leaned her back against the counter.

"Why wouldn't you ask?" He questioned. "Why put yourself through so much bullshit? I would've-"

"I'd rather pay it off for the rest of my life than ask you for help." She cut him off, a colder side than Inuyasha could ever remember. She had always been so light, happy. This slow burning anger, is this what he had reduced her to? "You shouldn't have to ask, I should have fucking known." He hung his head and lowered his voice. "I'm so sorry, Kagome."

"You had other things on your mind." Kagome folded her arms over her chest and squared her shoulders. She needed to draw a line between them, and having him knee deep in regrets he couldn't even remember would do no one any good. She tried to soften her tone without sounding cold. "What did you need to talk about?"

"Well, for starters this. We need to go to an ATM." He said, eager to right his wrongs. "I have money in the bank. How much-"

"No, Inuyasha." She said.

"Not _no_, Kagome. How much mon-"

_"__No_." she answered more firmly.

"But-"

"Just stop!" She screamed, finally losing her temper. "You can't fix everything all the time. You-"

_"__You always have to be the hero, don't you?" She was crying, tears uncontrollably rolling down her plump cheeks as her anger came to a full boil. "I used to love that about you, you know? I was always so proud that my boyfriend was the one who stuck up for the underdog, my fiancé was the one who would be the first to jump in and defend someone. I bragged about your sense of justice." She laughed, bitter, devoid of any warmth, giving him a chill. "You couldn't just leave her alone, could you? She needed help and you just __**had**__to step in and make things better, even if the cost was me, or us?" Her eyes… he had never seen them so full of anger, so full of betrayal. He had turned her into this, turned her kind soul into a jaded one. How could he come back from this?_

Inuyasha blinked as his jaw fell open, the ringing in his ears so intense he stumbled, catching himself on the chair. Kagome rushed to his side, any anger she had completely dissipated, his safety and health the most pressing matter on her mind. "Are you okay?!" She asked, gripping his shoulder, urging him to turn her way. "Inuyasha, look at me! Do we need to go to the doctor? In-"

He gripped her hand, wrapping his large fingers around her small ones, taking deep breaths of air, before he spoke. "I'm alright." He said. "I'm okay." Without thinking, he leaned his head against hers, closing his eyes as he tried to process what in the hell had just happened.

"What-?"

"I think, I think I had a memory resurface." He shook his head slightly so that he wouldn't jostle her. "I'm not sure."

"That's great then." Kagome smiled. "That's good, right?"

Inuyasha raised a brow as he looked at her. "It wasn't a particularly good one." He swallowed hard, his voice still hoarse. "Either way, this is the first that's come back." Kagome seemed genuinely surprised by this. It had to be being home, being with her. She had stood up to get him a glass of water and pushed the glass towards him. Wordlessly he thanked her, a slight nod of appreciation. She always knew what he needed without asking.

"Should I call Miroku to take you home? Or to the doctor?"

Well, maybe not _always_.

"I don't need a doctor." He waved her off. "And I'm already home."

Kagome frowned. "Inuyasha," She started. "We talked about this. _A lot."_

"And it doesn't change the way I feel." He crossed his arms over his chest.

"Inuyasha, Im- I have a boyfriend." Well, sort of a boyfriend, but he didn't need to know that. Nervously (seriously, why was _she_nervous that she was dating?) she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.

"You had a fiancé first." He ground out, reaching for her hand. He needed to touch her, needed the skin to skin contact. She tugged her hand, but he refused to let her go.

"And my finance cheated on me and left me for another woman." She reminded him, giving her hand another tug to gain freedom.

"I cheated?" he asked, his hand going slack. "I really…" It didn't seem possible. He never even thought about being with someone else, let alone act in it. Taking the opportunity, she removed her hand and shrugged.

"You said no, you never _physically_cheated, but I wasn't sure. There were a lot of times I think back on and…" it was hard to finish her sentence, almost if she spoke it out loud it would make it true. "But emotional cheating is just as bad. Maybe worse."

Inuyasha nodded, because what else could he do. He fucking agreed. "I'm so sorry Kagome." It felt like a broken record, that he just kept saying the same few phrases over and over but he truly meant it.

"Look, it's the past. Theres no reason to dwell on it. You moved on, I moved on. It sucks that you cant remember, but maybe that's a good thing. A fresh start, you know?" She gave him a small smile, a kindness he didn't deserve.

"I don't want to start over. I don't want to forget." He said low. "I want you back. I never wanted to lose you in the first place, but obviously I screwed things up. I need you Kagome."

How many times had she envisioned this? Heard it play out in her head, in her dreams. In her fantasy, she was able to over come the hurt, but reality left the confession feeling bitter and a little too late. She shook her head. "No."

Inuyasha looked up towards the ceiling, searching for the right thing to say, the right way to phrase his thoughts without putting his foot in his mouth. "I get it." He finally said. "Its going to fucking kill me, but I understand." Kagome bit her lip as she nodded, the pressure of the conversation heavy and tense.

"Could- Do you think I could still see you?" He asked, a delicate hope in his eyes. "I know it's a lot to ask… but I need some normal and fuck, Kagome you're my normal. I know I can't go back to being your fiancé, but… can't we go back to friends?"

Could they? She had so much anger, so much unresolved _shit_with Inuyasha, was that even possible?

Was it something she even wanted?

"I don't know…" She answered honestly.

"We used to be friends. We were friends first-"

"_Barely!"_

"But still friends _first_. Wasn't my fault you couldn't keep your hands off of me." He wiggled his brows suggestively.

"Sure, because I was the one making advances." She snorted.

"Fess up Higurashi, you couldn't keep your eyes off my ass and you know it."

Kagome shrugged. "It was a really nice ass." Pointing her index finger at him she chastised, "But I never made the first move."

"And it drove me fucking crazy." He admitted. "_You _drove me crazy." He said with a smile.

"Ditto." It felt easy, and gods, that was dangerous. A heavy silence fell over them, the magic of the moment gone.

"We always had fun hanging out." Inuyasha said. "Just dinner, or a movie or-"

"That's dating. We cant date. I don't think Kikyo would be thrilled with that idea."

"Fuck Kikyo." He hissed. "I haven't spoken to her since that day at the hospital." That seemed to surprise Kagome, although she was remiss to show it. "I get it- youre with Koga and Ill fucking deal with that on my own…I just… I want to be around you. I need you in my life."

Kagome was sure that this was a mistake.

There was no such thing as being friends with an ex, not really.

But he was hurting, and he seemed genuine. As long as they kept a boundary, maybe it would give her the closure she was aching for and finally be able to move on with her life.

"Okay." She said weakly. "We can… _try_to be friends."

Even though she knew it was a mistake, her heart felt so full watching the smile reach his eyes


	9. Chapter 9

Missing

Short chapter, but I hope it's good!❤️

~.~

'This is a mistake. A huge mistake.' Kagome thought to herself, checking her watch for the 5th time. All she had to do was turn around, it wasn't too late. Agreeing to meet Inuyasha while caught up in the moment, caught up in him and those literal puppy eyes! Who could deny that man anything when he looked at a woman like that? So without thinking and probably without proper blood flow to the brain she told him yes, I'll meet you Saturday at 7. His face twisted into an instant smile and gods, her heart felt relieved.

That was then, of course. Now her body felt heavy and nauseous. He always swept her away, carried her at his pace. When they met, she never could have fathomed the playboy ladies man of her class would be interested in her. She was kind of under the radar-or so she thought- and was just as shocked as everyone else when he marched up to her, all the confidence and swagger of someone used to hearing yes, and asked for her number. It was so out of left field- really, she had only shared some notes with the man the day he ran late to class- and the next class he was determined to go on a date? She was ready to turn him down, the Dog demon a little flashy for her taste, but when she saw the blush that crept over his cheeks, the nervous way he looked at the ground, eyes darting to her face to check for a reaction… there was no way she could pass. She should have known then she would be fighting a loosing battle against him.

And here she was, pulling into a parking spot, despite all her common sense and an hours worth of Sangos rage venting at her telling her other wise. She slumped her head on the steering wheel as the cars vibration stopped, loose black locks falling over her shoulders. "Idiot. Idiot." She chanted, banging her head against the rubber, hoping to knock some sense into herself. "Go home, girl. Go anywhere else." She muttered under her breath. "You- YOU'RE KIDDING ME!" Looking up, she had seen the hanyou walking towards her, a motorcycle helmet tucked under his arm. Flying out of the car, she stomped towards him. "What are you doing?!" She demanded.

"Nice to see you too." Inuyasha smiled, genuinely happy to see her, smell her, hell even hear her.

"Don't tell me you rode your bike here." She put her hands on her hips, a clear warning sign that she was not pleased.

"So? What's the big deal?" He shrugged, his leather jacket bunching at the shoulders.

Kagomes jaw dropped. "What's-you just- Inuyasha you were just in a serious accident you dummy! How could you even think about getting back on?!"

As far as he was concerned, this accident was a blessing. He didn't want to know a time without her. Obviously it sucked missing time, being hurt and waking up to know your life was completely over. But at least… at least now he had a chance. It was too selfish to say out loud, and to her of all people, so he tucked it away, letting the thought linger unsaid. "But I survived. So obviously I'm going to stick with what kept me safe, right?" He smiled at her, flashing his Pearly white fangs. "It just makes sense."

"Wrong, dog boy. I don't get your logic at all." She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. She looked him up and down and gods, he looked hot, but then the sight of his red bike caught her eye and she pouted. "I never liked you riding it in the first place. It's so dangerous."

Inuyasha considered for a moment before he spoke. "If you ask me not to, I won't ride it anymore."

She had asked him once before, back when they were engaged. He had stopped riding for the most part, and when he went out it was only with her. As much as he loved the bike, he hated the worry it spiked in his fiancé. Kagome frowned. "It's not my place to tell you that Inuyasha." It's Kikyos. She shouldn't be here. This was wrong. "I think I-"

"-I think if we don't hurry, we won't have time to get snacks." Inuyasha said, cutting her off and grabbing her hand. Kagome furrowed her brow, her bottom lip sticking out as she was pulled along. "You really wanted to see this right?" He asked, looking behind him, trying to put on a brave face. She was ready to bolt and he knew it.

"Yeah, but-"

"I know this isn't easy, Kagome." He came to a halt as they approached the double doors, still gripping her small hand. "Thank you" he tried to swallow down the lump in his throat. "For coming tonight…with me."

Kagome took a deep breath. It was like she was thrust back into college, back into the classroom, taken aback by his unexpected demeanor. He was still Inuyasha. He had hurt her, gods how he had hurt her, but deep down he was good. He wasn't a villain in some fairy tale, but a person who was flawed. She loved him and she hated him. She wanted to push him down to the ground, but then fuck him senseless. He broke her heart, but also made it full. As looked looked at the man she loved more than anything, anyone- standing so scared, so fragile… for the first time needing her… it was against her better judgement. It was against her common sense and probably her therapists advice. She dropped her hand and walked past him, pushing the heavy door open. "I'm not sharing popcorn with you." She said.

The dog demon slowly smiled, a deep chuckle vibrating in his chest. "Hell no. You load it with too much butter and salt." He closed the gap, walking though the opened door and smiled.

"That's what makes movie theater popcorn so special, dog boy."

"I should be holding the doors." He pointed out.

Kagome shrugged. "This isn't a date." She reminded him as She walked to his side, the pair taking even, steady steps as they approached the ticket booth. He laughed at something she said, or maybe it was the snippy way she said it, the sound and look of him blooming something in her chest that she knew was trouble, but she found herself smiling along with him. Caught up once again, swept away by Inuyasha. She knew later, when she was at home, twisted in her sheets, mind replaying every moment, every sentence, every breath she would care. But now, now she didn't mind.

'This is a mistake.'


	10. Chapter 10

"So….How was the date?" Sango practically sang as Kagome walked through the door, cheeks rosy pink from a shy blush. Kagome took a deep breath, heart still racing.

"It was good. Like reallygood." She smiled, biting her lower lip so she didn't look as excited as she felt. Inuyasha had just dropped her off- walked her to the door and everything- but she was still riding high from their time together. Unwrapping her scarf, she began to hang up her things.

"Yeah, I'll bet. Didn't you go out for a lunchdate? I was halfway ready to report you missing."

"It wasa lunch date." She gave Sango the side eye. She couldn't help the small laugh that escaped her as she sat down on their couch, pulling the grey throw pilling into a hug, . "It turned into a dinner date, too."

Quickly following her best friend to the couch, Sango plopped down next to her. "Okay, now you haveto spill."

It was hard to put it into words, hard to say exactly what she was feeling. "He… He wasn't at all what I expected." Hugging the pillow tighter, she continued. "In class, he just seemed like such a flirt, you know? I never really paid much attention to him. So I honestly thought he was going to try and make a move on me-"

"-He didn't?!" Sango interrupted, jaw slightly slack as Kagome shook her head.

"He asked to hold my hand… I think he was nervous! He doesn't seem like the kind of guy to be nervous, does he?" Sango shrugged, not really knowing much about the guy other thank his facebook photos. "I kept waiting for him to lean in and kiss me, or to say something sleazy, but instead he talked about his mom and told me about his home town and his best friend."

"Sounds like a sharer."

"You wouldn't think it though! Whenever I saw him in school he was never the one doing the talking."

Sango nodded. "I get that. You're super easy to talk to. Maybe he feels comfortable with you." Kagome blushed at the unexpected compliment.

"Well it goes both ways. I-" Kagome covered her face with her hands in embarrassment. "I told him the senior prom story."

"NO. You didn't! Why?!"

"I don't know!" She groaned. "One thing lead to another and it just slipped out!"

"And he didn't run away from you? Seriously, I was there for that and even I considered pretending I didn't know you for a week."

Kagome frowned, trying to push down the memory. "He just laughed. God, why do I always make such a fool out of myself in front of hot guys?" She leaned back against the couch dramatically.

"Well, you didn't scare him away, considering you had lunch anddinner. How did that even happen?"

Kagome bit her lip before she let it all rush out. "We had lunch at that café, the one by 5thave? And when we were done we just hung around and talked. We were there so long the waitresses changed shifts- the manager actually asked us to leave or to order something else. So we went for a walk in the park and after a while when we noticed the time we were hungry so we just had dinner. Honestly, I didn't even want to come home. "

"You've got it baaaad." Sango smiled knowingly. Ducking her head down, she replied in a small voice, "maybe." Sango stood up, stretching her arms high overhead before she headed towards her room. "Well, I'm happy for you." She called out. "See if he has any cute friend, yeah?"

Melting into the couch, not ready to give up on the night and head to bed, she sat, simply digesting the events of her day. It had felt so intense, and as cliché as it sounded there was a spark- one she hadn't even been aware existed in the world until she spent time with him. She felt so fulfilled and somehow starved by her time with him; he must be the type of man to make a woman greedy. How should she act when she saw him next? Was he going to invite her out again? Should she text him first? Gods, what if he didn't text her and they had to spend the rest of the semester in some awkward 'we went out for the longest date ever' limbo. What if this whole thing was a joke? Like the good looking guy lost some bet and had to take out the plain Jane? Gods, she hadn't even considered that! What-

A soft, quick knock at her door startled Kagome out of her thoughts. "I'll get it." She jumped up, trying to create some mental space between herself and the hanyou. Looking through the peephole, she felt her heart clench, her breathing speed up as she saw molten amber eyes staring back at her. Quickly unlocking the latch, she opened the door, his name hardly more than a soft sigh. "Inuyasha-"

Panting and short of breath, the hanyou pulled Kagome into his arms, crushing his lips against hers. It was hot and needy, but every bit as tender as she craved. When they broke away, gasping for air, they laughed as they held each other close.

"You came back." She said with a smile.

Inuyasha returned it, toothy and sincere, resting his forehead against hers. "I couldn't end it like that. I made it half way home and had to see you again." Standing on her tip toes, she breathed against his lips, hardly more than a whisper before she pulled him in for another kiss, "I'm glad you did."

~.~

"And you reallyare okay? Seriously Kagome, I'm worried about you." Kagome could practically see Sango's disapproving frown through the phone.

"I'm alright." She pulled a glass from the cabinet and filled it with tap water. "It was… nice."

There was a pause, one that made Kagome feel uncomfortable. "Nice is dangerous."

"Nice is just… nice." It was hard to admit that she missed him; While Sango did feel sympathy that Inuyasha was injured, she still was holding onto the anger and disgust of his previous actions; And while she understood that, it left little room for her feelings- which were freaking complicated! He had always made her feel special- in truth she had never doubted his love and devotion, even when Kikyo first entered the picture. The entire time the were broken up, she kept asking herself 'what went wrong? What changed?'

Maybe spending time with Inuyasha now would give her answers, maybe not; either way it left her yearning, both for the teenaged boy who rushed up her dorm steps to kiss her, and the man she used to sleep beside every night.

"Just be careful." Sango advised.

"I know." Kagome sighed. "I will."

"And when do you see Mr. Nice again?"

Not soon enough."Next week." She swallowed. "We're going to have dinner."

"And Koga's cool with this?" Kagome felt like banging her head against the kitchen counter. How was it that Sango was so good at targeting the areas she didn't want to talk about most?

"He- He doesn't exactlyknow." She admitted. "I mean, we're not exclusive. We talked about it a bit, but he knows I want to go slow-"

"-he's good for you, Kagome!" Sango interrupted. "Why are you wasting time with Inuyasha when you could be focusing on your future? I'm not saying it hasto be Koga- it just can't be him."

She felt like screaming; why not? Why couldn't it be him? She loved him, and right now, in this moment, he loved her. Couldn't that be enough, even if for right now? She liked Koga- he was a great guy and he was more patient than she deserved- but as charming as he was, there was no way it compare to the hanyou she was ready to spend her life with.

"It's not a waste being with him, Sango." She could feel herself shaking. "He's-"

"The same guy who left you in a mountain of bills and broke your heart. How could you forget that?"

She couldn't forget; seriously, how could Sango even ask that? But maybe, maybe she could forgive.

Even after everything, she loved him enough for that.


	11. Chapter 11

"Could you fuckin' keep it down?" Inuyasha groaned into the cushion of the couch, somehow sounding more cranky than he was actually feeling if that were even at all possible. Still, he made no apologies for his attitude. His roommate was fucking loud.

"Who woke you up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?" Miroku glanced over at the hanyou, looking absolutely miserable. He laid on his belly, face smushed into the overstuffed pillows as he covered his ears. Miroku couldn't help but roll his eyes; "Do you know how dramatic you look right now?"

"I don't have a bed to wake up in, asshole." He grumped. "And it's too damn loud." He added, as if that were any excuse. "The coffee is giving me a headache."

"Huh?" Miroku picked up the offending pot, carefully pouring the hot liquid into his mug. Did he have a caffeine migraine? "Want some?" He offered.

"I want you to turn the damn thing off. It keeps dripping. Drip, drip, drip. Its fucking water torture!" His head was throbbing; it was different than any headache, any migraine he had ever had. It felt as if his skull was about to crack in half from the sheer pressure inside. Every noise, every breath his idiot friend made, every tick of the clock felt like someone was tapping his head with a hammer. He had tried to get up and turn the damn thing off himself, but for a minute there his vision doubled instantly making him want to vomit, and he was pretty sure that lying face down into the couch was a better option.

"I don't even know how to answer that." Miroku sighed as he leaned against the countertop, taking a particularly loud sip. "Ahhh-"

"Cant you do that somewhere else?" Inuyasha snapped. Miroku simply raised a brow and asked, "Don't you have somewhere else to be? I thought you were supposed to meet Kago-"

"-Fuck!" Inuyasha sat up so quickly his head was spinning, racing past his so-called best friend as he scrambled to put on pants. "Why the hell didn't you say something earlier?"

Miroku shrugged before taking another sip, holding the mug with both hands. "You were so busy being a dick I figured you had little time to do anything else."

~.~

He ran. It made him sick to his stomach, but he would be damned if he was going to make Kagome wait. If she waited, she had time to think, and if she had time to think, he knew she would fucking turn around because why wouldn't she? It was some sort of miracle that she even met with him as it was. Each jostle, each step seemed to wreak havoc on him, but he pushed through. It was a short distance to the diner, the one they often went to for brunch, back when they were a they. Kagome liked the waffles, Inuyasha liked the home fries, and they both loved Kaede. She was feisty and kind and knew how to cook a Damn good omelet. It took them no time at all to make kaedes their regular spot, even exchanging Christmas cards with the owner and chatting like good friends.

He arrived at the diner, before her thank Gods- and barely breaking a sweat; it didn't change the fact that he felt completely exhausted. His headache was only getting worse as the day was wearing on; being outside, the glaring sun and the noise of the city was agony, but he decided that not seeing Kagome would be worse. He nodded kaedes way as he took their usual spot.

He felt full of jitters as he anxiously waited; it was nothing new, he always felt nervous before she came, worried if she would come. But of course, she always did.

His gut told him Kagome wasn't the type to stand someone up, and in all honesty, their 'not date-dates' were going really well. He was being the perfect gentleman, playing the role of a friend instead of a boyfriend and although it left him aching and wanting he knew it was better to have her in his life, even as a companion, than not at all.

He could spot her immediately, his head bobbing up to catch her full figure; Kagome walked through the door and Inuyasha held his breath. It always took him off guard to see her with short hair, but he couldn't deny that she looked cute. She had a new habit of tucking one particular lock behind her ear and he just about melted every time she did it. She didn't dress up for him; today she had her hair half up in a bun, her large tan cardigan making her frame look even smaller. And the jeans- Gods, did she wear those just to torment him? He loved it when she looked like this; casual and sweet. It reminded him of weekend days during the fall, when they had nothing better to do than take a walk around the block, holding hands, flirting and laughing, the weather nice enough for a sweater and a hot coffee.

Comfortable. What he wouldn't give to feel comfortable again.

She glanced around the room, quickly making eye contact and Inuyasha; he smiled and gave a curt wave as she walked past the booths, quickly sitting down opposite of him. Just like before. Just like when she was his. She smiled as she settled in, putting her purse to the side and giving him a bright smile. "Sorry, did you wait long?"

Trying to swallow down the lump in his throat he shook his head. "No, I just got in." She was here, and he felt a sense of ease; her scent wrapped around him, beckoned him closer. She was dangerous. "You look nice." He added. It seemed to surprise her, as she looked down at her outfit and laughed a bit.

"I look like its laundry day- which it is. But, thanks." Reaching for a menu Kagome kept her eyes trained on the page as she casually said, "You look good too. Your hair is already grown out!" Inuyasha raked his hands through his silver locks on impulse; "Mm, half-demon, remember? Heal faster, grow faster."

Kagome nodded, turning her attention to the breakfast options on the menu. "I guess that's true." She said nothing else, leaving the hanyou on edge. He had so little time with her, and he wanted to get as much out of it as he could.

"H-Hows Souta doing? And your mom? Is gramps still overworking himself?" He was rambling, he knew it, but he was desperate to feel the ease of their conversations. It took a few minutes to get into the groove, but they always got there. Kagome smiled, wide and beautiful.

"Mama is good. She's keeping my fridge stocked in Udon, which is like her new full-time job. Gramps is still gramps. We keep telling him he needs to slow down, but he keeps brushing us off and saying hell slow down when he dies."

Inuyasha laughed and his head split. Fuck, he didn't want this to ruin his day.

"It's been quite a while since I've seen you two at my table." Kaede smiled as she stopped at their booth. Kagome blushed.

"We tried to stay away but I'm pretty sure you put crack in your homefries instead of onions." Inuyasha supplied.

"A good Cook never reveals her secrets" the old woman teased.

"What are you doing out here anyway?" Kagome wondered. "You hardly ever leave the grill."

"You take up waitressing since we've been gone?" The hanyou grunted.

"Cheeky as always." Kaede hissed. "Didn't anyone ever tell you not to mess with the people who make your food?" She winked at Kagome before continuing on. "I'll have you know i saw you two in the dining room and had to stop over. It's been so long! You made this old woman worry."

Kagomes hummed her agreement, the whole thing feeling awkward. Just another slap in the face that they had spent so much time apart.

"I'm happy you two kids are back together. What can I get you two for this happy occasion?"

Kagome cleared her throat before answering. "We- were not together. Just friends."

Just hearing it made Inuyasha set his jaw. It wasn't the first time he heard it, but It still felt like a dagger. Kaede frowned, telling the pair she still held hope for them. The two quickly placed their orders, and the cook walked away a little sadder than when she entered.

"So, How about your brother?" He asked, trying to fill toe void, asking anything to make the situation lighter. It fucking hurt to think, but he was trying like hell. "He still doing good?" She deadpanned and the hanyou had to hold back his laughter.

"Such a punk. He's hanging around with this new kid at school and he's getting such an attitude. Can you believe he actually skipped class last week?"

"No, actually, I cant." He answered seriously. Souta was always such a good kid! Goofy and high spirted, sure, but not the type to talk back and skip out on school. "Want me to talk to him? Set him straight?"

Kagome frowned. "That's not the best idea. He's still pretty mad at you, you know?"

"Mad?" He echoed, purely on instinct; he had not thought about how their break up would effect souta. He had always treated Souta like a sibling, and he knew the kid looked up to him. No doubt he was furious. He was ducking furious at himself!

"He was really hurt." She explained, voice dropping lower. "Mama and gramps too. You were family and-"

Inuyasha hung his head, instantly pissed off. It was his own fault, but he couldn't help the prick of anger he felt building.

"-I get it." He said, tone clipped.

"But you know, they still ask about you. They were a little leery when I told them we were meeting but-"

The rest kind of faded; his head felt fuzzy, if that was an accurate way to explain his the dazed feel, causing his vision to blur. He felt pissed off and sick and fuckhis head hurt!

"Can we change the topic?" He asked abruptly, rubbing his temples.

"Um, sure." She looked around for the waitress, the situation feeling suddenly heavy. Maybe some coffee or juice would help ease the mood.  
"Ho-How have you been?" She asked nervously.

"Fucking fantastic." He replied, regretting the words the second they left his lips. What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he control the things that came out of his damn mouth? He watched as she furrowed her brows and frowned, looking just about as displeased as he felt.

"What's your problem, Inuyasha?" She demanded. "You ask me to come but you're acting like a jerk." Kagome took a deep breath before continuing on. "I think I should go." Reaching over, she grabbed her purse and began to stand. Panic flooded him, ruling out any other feeling his wretched body was currently feeling. His hand shot out, grasping her wrist desperately.

"I-'m sorry. Please, just sit." He let go of her, dejected, defeated. There was no way she could leave him looking like a literal sad puppy.

"What's going on? If you want this to work-" she motioned between them with her pointer, "then you need to communicate and be honest. What's wrong?"

He didn't want to communicate. He didn't want to be honest. Not about this; he was acting like such a huge brat and all because he had a little headache? He basically hit Mirokus head off this morning for no reason- even he knew that- but nevertheless, he hadn't learned. He was still in combat mode, ready to take it out On Kagome.

Inuyasha sighed and hung his head. "I'm just sick. I have a freaking migraine and I've felt like crap all day." He looked up at her and apologized. "I know I shouldn't take it out on you- I really didn't mean to- I-"

"Why didn't you just reschedule?" She asked, concern lacing her tone. "You had a serious head injury. You can't take these things lightly! You should be home- why are you pushing yourself when-"

"Because I wanted to see you damn it!" He raised his voice, making some of the diner patrons look his way, but he seemed unphased. "I wait for this all week. All. Fucking. Week. It's the only good part of my life, Kagome. I'm so worried that if I miss a date that you'll come to you senses and stop seeing me altogether. Like hell, I'm gonna stay home because I've got a headache."

She waited, digesting his words, blushing at his honesty. She leaned across the table, covering his hands with hers. "I- I wouldn't stop seeing you." Her voice was low, but Inuyasha could make out every word; instantly, he looked up. Hope bubbling inside of him. Staring down at their hands, her small, dainty ones over his own large calloused ones, he dared to laced his fingers between hers, heart in his throat the whole time. And she let him. She let him.

"I look forward to seeing you too. So please… please take care of yourself. Don't push yourself to meet me if you're sick. You need to be healthy."

"Yeah." He was sure he heard his voice crack, but he didn't care. He was touching her.

She was letting him touch her.

"Let's get you home. You need to call the doctor. Have you been goong to your appointments-"

Home.

She said, let's get you home.

Hope is a dangerous thing; was it so wrong to find comfort in it? It didn't matter, not really. As she led him out of kaedes, lecturing him the entire time about his health, he kept replaying the words in his mind.

She wants to see me too. Even like this, she wants to see me.

It's not wrong to hope, right?


	12. Chapter 12

What would she have done differently, had she known it was their last day?

The question kept rattling around her head, creeping into her thoughts at the worst of times. When she was grocery shopping, the endless possibilities making her teary-eyed, while correcting papers, distracting her from her piles of work, when lying alone in bed, hand sprawled over the spot he used to lie.

When he was next to her, laughing happily, looking at her from the corner of his eye. What would she have done differently?

* * *

Would she have laid in bed with him longer, running her hands through his silver hair, delighting in the sounds he made as she rubbed his ears? Kagome would have held him closer, trace the lines and curves of his body so she could remember it later. Parts of him that had once been so clear faded over time; she wanted to engrave all of him in her mind.

She'd follow him to the shower, wash his body with her own hands, leaving her own trail of wetness with her tongue. If it was her last day with him, she would take him for all he was worth. Even back then she knew no one would compare.

If she knew then what she knew now... nothing would change. Back then he was always angry, always quick to say a bitter word or leave quickly. He left often, work being his primary excuse. It was easier to leave than to argue, although they took that route often as well. Their relationship had seemed so easy once, sure, there were times they fought, but Inuyasha was never one to go to bed early.

What could she have done differently? She often thought that way. Could she have been more accommodating, more patient when his mood swung? Could she have asked what bothered him, followed him when he left? What good would any of that have done, if his heart was with Kikyo?

Even still, she wished she could go back to her last day of blissful ignorance and treasure it all the more. The Kagome back then did not know what heartbreak was awaiting her.

"What would you do?" She had asked him, stretched out on their bed, he miles away, his voice low in her ear. Late night calls were becoming more frequent are increasingly dangerous.

"I don't remember what it was like." He answered honestly. Inuyasha could not recall their break up nor the day before.

"It was a normal day, for us back then at least. We worked, came home. We argued and you left. You didn't come back until the next day."

"I was a fucking idiot." He sighed, sounding wearier than he had earlier. "I can't believe I ever did that."

"It was hard for me to accept too." She said, willing the tears to stop. She wasn't crying much, just enough to make her sound like a fool. "We argued, and a part of me suspected, but it still hit me the same."

"If it was our last day, I wouldn't let it end. I'd stay with you until the sun rose. I wouldn't let you leave."

"But you were the one who left." She corrected.

"I'd keep you in bed, too satisfied to argue, too tired to move." He explained.

Kagome laughed, small and gentle. "You're treading dangerous territory, Inuyasha."

He couldn't deny it. "If it was my last day with you, what else would I do but keep you to myself?"

It would have been nice to have that knowledge.

~.~

There was something he was missing. Some pieces of time, some clue to his past. He knew it, but couldn't retrieve it. Inuyasha felt as if he was on the brink, on the verge of trying to work out whatever it was that held him back, but every time he thought about it too long his head ached and his vision went blurry.

The questions were the same; how could he hurt Kagome the way he did? How could he cheat, how could he leave her? The answers didn't come despite how hard he tried, and he wanted more than anything to know his reasons.

He felt like a fool, not knowing his history, still caught in the web of his own repercussions. If he only knew what had happened, maybe it would make things easier to repair.

Maybe not.

Maybe the pieces he was missing were not that important, but instead, his choices in the present that held the most weight. What was gone was gone, what happened had past, there was no changing that. But in this moment, in all those to come, he held power- the power to change, power to make things better, to fix the damage and wreck he inflicted. He needed to let what was missing remain forgotten and to look towards the future; why shouldn't it be full of opportunities? Spring always comes, even after the coldest winter, renewing lost hope, blossoming with promise. If the flowers could bloom after a frost, couldn't he find a way to melt the ice between them? Little by little, bit by bit.

What was missing didn't matter; he told himself that as he laid down, his head aching with a pain he was, unfortunately, becoming used to. That might change tomorrow; when the ringing in his ears ceased, when he woke up alone, he would probably spend the early hours pondering how his life had led him to crashing on Miroku's couch. Until then, he would think of Kagome, dreaming up ways he would win her back.


	13. Chapter 13

'You need to let him go'

That's what Sango had told her; If she had been honest with any of her other friends, she was sure that would have been their advice too. What on Earth was she doing, hanging around an ex, the very one who shattered her heart and didn't think twice? When he left her, he didn't call, didn't try to rectify his wrongs. He moved on, never looking back at the damage.

But then there he was, showing up at her doorstep, begging for a moment of her time. Just when she thought she could move on from him, he came bursting into her life, shining his attention on her and making her feel starved without it.

She shouldn't feel that way! They were over! O-V-E-R. She had to keep reminding herself of that; He was sick, his love was sick, and all of it was just temporary.

It became a mantra; 'he doesn't love me, he doesn't love me, he doesn't love me'. Somehow, Kagome thought that if she kept repeating it, it would make it feel less real. Yet no matter how many times she mulled it over in her head, it was hard to turn away from the man she loved.

Loves?

Loved.

Her phoned vibrated and she thanked God for the distraction. Any more time spent thinking on the hanyou would lead her down a rabbit hole she didn't dare to follow.

'Up for a movie?' Koga, of course. Kind and sweeter than she deserved.

She should reply quickly; it wasn't good to leave him on read. She didn't feel much like going out, or seeing even him for that matter. Before, she looked forward to their dates, to getting out of the house and spending time with him. Their last meeting left a heavyweight in the pit of her stomach that took days to shake. Not that he had done anything wrong- the complete opposite, really. He wanted more, wanted her and she didn't exactly know how she felt. They were not exclusive, although she knew the wolf demon was not seeing anyone else; it put a pressure on her she wasn't sure she was ready for. No, she and Koga were just casually dating, or at least that's what they had agreed to; So why did it feel so much like cheating every time she thought of Inuyasha?

When she was with him, she felt like she was sneaking behind Koga's back, and when she was with Inuyasha…

All her thoughts were on him. He was always present, her mind never cast off in a million directions. Her attention was always on him, on the way he looked, the sound of his laugh, how good he smelled or the way one corner of his mouth turned up more than the other when he smiled.

It wasn't good to be like this, to let these feelings fester. How long was she going to let the hanyou control her? She should focus on Koga, focus on her future. She should ask Inuyasha if he ever went to his doctor's appointment.

Damn it!

She should choose Koga, chose a new path, someone who wouldn't take her feelings for granted and run off when their relationship became rocky. Koga wasn't like that; but then again, she didn't think Inuyasha was either.

It was so out of character, so strange how it happened. It was as if his personality did a complete 180. Sure, his temper could be short at times, but he was never cruel. How could someone go from such a loving man to someone who turned their back so easily? By the end of their relationship, she felt like she didn't recognize him anymore.

She was shocked to learn he was calling for her at the hospital; The desperation in his voice, the way he clung to her… she had never seen him afraid. If he lost his memory, he was working off his feelings from back then. He must have loved her, must have truly cared at some point. How could it all have gone so wrong?

It didn't matter.

And yet it did, and it was driving her nuts!

She couldn't just continue on like this, stuck in limbo, waiting for Inuyasha to fall out of love with her, waiting for some closure that would probably not happen.

Kagome knew what she needed to do.

She had made up her mind.

~.~

The phone buzzed, immediately catching his attention, making him put down his pencil and halt his work on the clients blue print; it seemed that no matter what he was doing, he was never too busy to respond to her texts. She did that a lot now- texting him. When they first started talking it was minimal communication; awkward and brief, only relaying the basic message that needed to be sent. Now, she was opening up, talking about her day, her frustrations, the good parts and boring. It reminded Inuyasha of how they were, before; He dared enough to take it as a good sign.

Especially when she texted late at night. That itself was something that had him fantasizing in a million different ways. Was she lonely? Did she miss him? If she thought of him in the early hours, it must mean that she was alone and Koga wasn't warming her bed, and that was fucking brilliant.

It drove him crazy to know that that damn wolf was still sniffing around her; He had found out that they weren't official, but they were dating, and that alone was enough to make him rip Miroku's couch to shreds, which, by the way, was getting fucking old. He needed to find a place and soon, but apartment hunting took so much damn time.

'You're going to the doctors today, right?'

Boring. He wished she would talk about anything else- what she had for lunch, the color of her panties, when he could see her next. Really, anything else; But no, his ex-fiancé was in full-on nag mode. He knew that when she was like this, there was little that could stop her.

'Not today. Too busy. I'll go on Friday.' He responded, rolling his eyes as he tossed the phone on his desk. Miroku, his mom, hell, even Sesshomaru had been on him about going to get a check-up; he had meant to, but he just kept missing the appointments. How could he get to the doctors when there was so much work to do? It buzzed again, and even though he knew it would be grating, he was still thrilled to receive something, anything, from her.

'You better to go, Inuyahsa. I mean it!'

She was concerned, that had to be a good sign, right? Kagome was worried enough about his well-being enough to argue with him about it. That had to be good, right?

'Yeah, yeah. Thanks mom.' He sent back, biting on the corner of his lip. He knew that it would get under her skin, but he said it anyway.

'You better. Don't make me get your mother involved.'

Ouch, a real fucking threat. She'd do it too, if history was any indication. Not that Kagome called his mom over petty arguments, no she wasn't that type. His mom just fucking loved Kagome, a lot, and they always seemed to team up and back him into a corner when they were on the same page.

'You should. She misses you.' He sent it on impulse and regretted it immediately; he tried to keep it light, did his best to stay in the friend zone and not bring up their relationship. Yes, it was the giant elephant in the room, but he was a coward and he'd rather dance around the issue and be with her than to confront it head on. There would always be time for that some other day.

'Yeah, I miss her too.'

He didn't know what to say next, how to move the conversation along from there. Should he change the subject? What the hell could he talk about? His mind was racing as he panicked, his claws tapping on his wooden desk as he searched for an answer, Kagome supplying one before he could.

'Are you busy tonight? Can we meet up?'

It felt like a mistake and an opportunity all at once.

'Of course.'

What else could he say?

~.~

The ride back to her apartment seemed too short, at least in Inuyasha's opinion. They had gone out for coffee, she walking and he driving to meet her. While they sat sipping it suddenly began to pour, the rain heavy on the concrete sidewalk, and Inuyasha was more than thrilled to give Kagome a lift home. It was nice to have her in the passenger seat again, to have her by his side.

He pulled up, parking in his old spot, the feeling more nostalgic than he would have thought. A simple gesture, but one that threw him back, took for granted back then. As he cut the engine, he turned to look at her, his breath-stopping, all thoughts lost.

The air felt heavy, hot. She was looking at him half-lidded and if he didn't know better, he would have thought she wanted him. He had seen that look on her often enough, fuck it was ingrained in his mind, but she hadn't looked at him that way, been so close to her like this in a long time, and fuck if it didn't make him nervous. He felt like a bumbling idiot, too afraid and jittery to make a move. "L-let me grab my jacket." He stuttered. "I-I can walk you to the door." Kagome bit her lip and nodded and Inuyasha just about died.

Shutting his door behind him with a loud bang, he whipped around to Kagome's door, holding his jacket high overhead to protect her from the rain. She stepped out, squeaked a bit from the weather and the two of them ran to the front steps of her apartment, the small awning making them huddle in together as they said their goodbyes.

"I should go." He said, silver hair damp with rain, sticking against his forehead. Kagome smiled, reaching up to push away the stray locks, tucking one behind his ear, the hanyou doing his best to control his blush. Her hand rested on his cheek, cupping it tenderly as she searched his amber eyes, looking for hesitation, looking for recognition, for truth or love- she wasn't sure anymore.

"Kagome," he breathed out, covering her petite hand with his own. "I-"

She cut him off, unwilling to let him finish lest she lose her nerve. The kiss was slow and tentative at first, an underlying hunger they were too afraid to indulge in. When they broke away, quickly, much too quickly, Inuyasha knew he was panting and he didn't care; Kagome's hands had traveled down, grasping his muscular arms like they were her life line. Had her eyes looked this blue before? Had her lips been so full, so plump? Her scent so spicy and alluring? Everything about her in this moment set his senses in overdrive, leaving him feeling both drugged and charged for more.

"Don't go." She pleaded, her tone hinting that she was worried. As if he could turn away.

"Are you sure?" He asked, the words sounding foreign to his own ears. This had to be a dream. And to his utter surprise, she nodded, clutching him harder, her eyes never leaving his.

She didn't have to ask him twice.

~.~

A/N: Hey guys! I am super happy about getting to this point, and even more excited for the next chapter! Thanks for sticking with the story and reading! I hope everyone had a great holiday and has a happy new year!


	14. Chapter 14

He pressed her against the wall, the handrail digging into the curve of her back, but Kagome didn't mind; She arched into Inuyasha, white-knuckling his shoulders, fabric damp from the rain, afraid that if she let go, he would disappear. And with the way he was kissing her, that just wasn't an option. She pressed into him, moaning as she came in contact with the man she had missed so much. His scent, his hard body, _him_… all of it had left a hole in her life and with each kiss, each grind of his hips she felt both a relief and an ache.

"_Fuck_," He moaned, lowering his lips to her neck, panting to catch his breath. She smelled like spice and vanilla, like all the sweetness that had been absent from his life. He felt her small hands fly to his chest, running her fingers down to the hem of his shirt, her nails teasing his bare flesh as she raised the wet cotton. It was hard to concentrate, hard to focus on anything but the goddess who was shaking in his arms, not from the cold but from _want_; but a small voice in the back of his head told him to stop being such a fucking idiot and move, his ears flicking slightly at the sound of her neighbors coming down the stairs. Reluctant to break the spell but knowing the woman in caged between him well enough to know she would be mortified, he slid one hand down her side down to her legs, light pressure that promised so much more, and lifted her effortlessly into his arms.

Kagome made a quiet sound of surprise, but quickly peppered kissed along his cheek, the hard lines of his jaw, her nails running through his thick silver locks, earning her a low grunt. Inuyasha had never climbed the stairs to the apartment so quickly; when they reached the door, Kagome quickly handed over the key, her lips getting to work on the tender column of the hanyou's neck, sure to leave a bruise come the morning. Pushing aside the heavy door, Inuyasha kicked it close with the back of his foot, rushing to get to the bedroom. He would have had her anywhere, truth be told, and each time he passed a surface he could prop her up on and plow into her he had to resist the urge to let loose his animal instincts and let them both enjoy what had been denied for so long. But he wanted the bedroom, wanted to surround her with the fluffy pillows and soft sheets; he knew that tonight he would give her no rest and he would be anything but gentle.

He threw he to the bed unceremoniously, and for a moment he worried he had been too rough, but his little minx gave him a seductive smile and inched backwards towards the headboard, stripped herself of her tight shift, chest heaving in a black lacy bra. Wasting no time, he followed suit, Kagome's eyes were drawn to the plains of his chest, and he couldn't help but smile. She was hungry for him, just as he was for her. Leaning down, he caught her lips, giving the bottom lip a slight tug as she moaned out his name. When was the last time he had held her, the last time he had felt so fucking _good_? Inuyasha paused, framing her head with his hands, pushing away her bangs.

"You're sure baby?" He asked, nervous for either answer.

She smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Yes." She said, tugging him down to her, rolling her hips to make her point. "Now stop talking and _fuck _me."

~.~

He had hated the sound of the coffee pot at Miroku's, the noise enough to drive him insane; but here, surrounded by the scent of Kagome, her thin legs wrapped around his, the sheets a tangled mess, it felt like _home_ again. He hugged her tighter, thinking not for the first time that morning how perfectly her body fit into his.

This is what his life had been like, before the accident, before Kikyo, before… whatever drove him to that point. He had taken it for granted, he was a fool and he knew it now. Kagome was snoring lightly, his ears twisted to hear her deep breathing better. He wanted to memorize it, he hadn't before- and he wasn't sure he'd get the opportunity to later. Would she regret this? Was it a mistake? Would they take the next step in their relationship? He would respect whatever she chose, but he had no idea how he would ever go back.

" 'Mornin'" She grumbled, blinking as the sun peeked through the heavy curtains. He hugged her tighter before responding.

"Morning yourself." He said, smiling as she stretched, but still not turning to look at him.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked, running his hands over her hip.

"Mhm." She nodded, still facing away from him, moving away slightly.

He leaned over, kissing her cheek lightly, but she still didn't turn. He worried, nervous in general, but more so at the thought of her avoiding him.

"Kagome…"

"Mm?" She answered, biting her lip.

"What's wrong? Do- are- are you regretting-?"

"No!" She yelled, whipping around to look him in the eye and she just about melted. She sat up, only to hunch over as she covered her face with her hands.

"Why the hell won't you talk to me? Is it something I did?" He wanted nothing more than to gather her into his arms, but he was afraid to make even the slightest move.

"Morning breath." She said, her voice flat.

_What?_ "Huh?"

"I have morning breath, and you have a killer nose and just- UGH. Let me go brush my teeth!" She scurried out of the sheets and ran towards the bathroom, the hanyou admiring the curve of her backside as she slipped out of the room.

What was she doing? Last night wasn't a mistake- it was _amazing_\- but was it something that should be continued? These were big questions, ones that certainly couldn't be answered before coffee. There would be plenty of time to worry about the next step. Right now, all she wanted to do was brush her teeth and jump the Adonis-like creature resting in her bed. _Their bed_. Waiting for her.

Like he had been this whole time.

Digging through the medicine cabinet, she retrieved the extra tooth brush and walked towards the bedroom.

"Hey, Inuyasha, I have-"

The plastic container dropped to the floor as she screamed, rushing towards the bed where the hanyou lay seizing.


	15. Chapter 15

The room was spinning as Inuyasha did his best to blink, eyelids heavy, his gaze foggy. His body was protesting conciseness and he didn't know why; In his haze, he could see people dressed in scrubs- they must be doctors- rushing about in a blurred motion, deep lines of worry etched in their faces; just watching them was making him sick, that had to be the reason his stomach felt like it was filled with lead. He tried to sit up, to lift his head enough to get a scan of the room- were they even in a room? A series of doors and hallways kept passing, making the hard task see impossible. His instincts were screaming danger, his nose twitching at all the scents, the overpowering stench of Clorox mixing with everything. In an instant, a frail nurse had come to the rail of his bed, leaning over him without warning, wrinkled hand pressing on his shoulder in an effort to keep him down; even odder it fucking worked. How had that happened?

It was a man now, and Inuyasha wasn't sure how a human could move that quickly. Was life lagging? The overhead light was nearly blinding as he stared up, shaking off the half a dozen hands that were now gripping his shoulders; the doctors terse orders to lie back, the call for restraints on his tongue as he scrunched his thick blonde brows in concern or exasperation, all of it was giving him a headache, making his blood boil. He somehow found the strength to shrug them off, trying to find the only thing that mattered. He just wished the room world would stop moving, it'd make it a hell of a lot easier.

"_Wh're_-?" He slurred, trying to find her in the sea of color. _Fuck_ his head felt like it was splitting apart. She had been there just before. They had been in her bed, he was sure of that. She had kissed him, fucking _devoured_him whole, she couldn't be far, she had to be-

"I'm here!" She gasped, panic laced in her voice. He hadn't been scared before- not until he heard the way her voice crack, the desperate way she tried to get his attention through panting breaths. She was gripping his hand, giving it a firm squeeze to get his attention. She had to push through an orderly he didn't even know was there, attempting to make him lie down. "_Stop_!"

He heard hear her cry, immediately bringing his attention to her figure. He had long suspected Kagome was magic, some witchery coursing through her blood; how else could she have enchanted him so completely? He had no idea her powers extended to the rest of the world. One simple command from her, and the world stopped blurring. His eyes looked lost and wild, pupils large, glossy.

"I'm right here, Inuyasha." Her hair was falling all around he and for the first time since he woke up, the walls seemed solid.

"Magic." He commented so low she hardly heard him. Kagome bit her lip and took a deep breath. The voices were telling her they needed to move, that time was limited. And just like that, his surroundings were too nauseating to look at. It was so noisy and smelly here. It was hard to knit two thoughts together. He wanted to go home, to _their _home.

"We're in the hospital, Inuyasha." She said, rushing to keep pace with the rest of the room. "They're rushing you into surgery, but they're afraid. You have to stay calm Inuyasha."

His response was more of a hiss than an answer.

"_Promise _me." She begged, her hand gripping his so tight it almost hurt. "_Promise._"

His brain was trying to catch up. He must be on a stretcher, the double doors up ahead must be for him.

"You'll be here?" He asked, shakier than he wished.

"Of course." Her words sounded wet, sad. "I'll be here when you wake up."

He swallowed. "I promise. Don't worry."

The stretcher rushed through the double doors, a nurse turning back to Kagome, explaining that this was as far as she was permitted. They'd let her know about the surgery when there was an update. In the mean-time, administration needed details and would be on their way shortly.

~.~

It was a tumor, located in the frontal lobe. At least, that's what the young doctor with the clear clipboard told her. She asked if Inuyasha had experienced confusion, loss of time or disorientation. If she had noticed mood swings or personality changes, loss of restraint, anger and aggression. The seizure was just another symptom of the growing tumor that was known to effect long term memory. She asked again if she had seen any of these markers, pushing her silver rimmed glasses up as she studied Kagome, waiting for an answer.

She had, _of course_, she had. She had written his mood swings off as him being temperamental, of just having bad days that became more frequent and worse. Equated his loss of interest in her and their relationship to his growing infatuation for Kikyo, never considering that it was a personality change; it seemed out of the norm for her fiancé to treat her the way he did, to say the cruel words that came out of his mouth, to leave her in tears as he walked out the door. She had never imagined that he was hurting just as badly as she was.

The doctor explained the frontal lobe, its link to behavior and how a tumor of its size must have been hard to live with. It may not explain all of his behavior, he was, after all, a normal person and no one is perfect, but if there was an instance that seemed really out of character for him, it probably was the tumor.

It was hard to sit with that knowledge; hard to sit and wait, hard to swallow and process everything that was happening. He had forgotten the past months, forgotten their break up, forgotten the way he treated her.

He loved her, loved her then and maybe, loves her now.

Kagome didn't want to justify his actions with a medical illness, but in her gut she couldn't help but wonder- did they breakup because of his tumor? Did she turn her back on him when he needed help, too hurt and focused on her own feelings to even stop and think 'does this make sense?'.

He was so young and healthy; he loved to boast about his immune system and superior health anytime someone so much as sneezed; no one would ever suspect a tumor.

It was easy to let her thoughts run away, to blame herself, to go down the road of worry.

There's little else to do when you have to wait.

~.~

When they cut into his skull, removing the mass, the doctors were shocked to find how large it was. It baffled the specialists, how they could have done so many cat scans and MRI's from his head trauma, and still never picked up any trace of the tumor. Their best guess was that his hanyou blood, his half demon health had been constantly battling, chipping away at it when his powers were strong, but never enough that it would simply go away; By the time of the new moon, the doctors suspected that there was little to no mending happening. But just as he had the ability to heal quickly, his demon side made illness' more dangerous and potent. The tumor probably grew so rapidly _because_ he was a hanyou. As long as the tumor remained, it was able to regrow.

It was a catch 22.

One doctor also suspected that given his extensive brain trauma from the accident, it may have slowed or progressed his tumor and its effects. There really was no way to know; they suggested the people in Inuyashas life make a diary of things that could possibly be related to the symptoms and work from there. Therapy would be crucial; the support worker was keen on that. Apparently many families never recover from the emotional damage of the disease.

~.~

She looked uncomfortable, face buried in the crook of her arm, cradled in what he could only assume was in an attempt at comfort. Her other hand held his, fingers draped over this long ones, the heart rate monitor glowing blue.

She was here, and that was what mattered.

He wasn't sure what happened, wasn't sure about much else other than the splitting headache he had, but if Kagome was by his side, he was sure it couldn't be that bad.

~.~

The first thing he thought was that his hair had finally grown back; if Inuyasha had thought that the haircut from the previous surgeon was rough, this guy was a butcher. Kagome kept reassuring him that he could pull off any hair style, and that he looked quiet handsome bald; but the whole thing left him feeling more self-conscious than he cared to admit, especially knowing how much his girlfriend loved to play with his hair. Hopefully, this would be the last time he would need a cut so close to the scalp; He promised her that he would grow his hair out for her, vowed to never cut it again. Kagome laughed and it sounded like music, lightly saying she would grow out hers too, for solidarity reasons, of course. She couldn't let her boyfriend be a martyr.

It was nice to be her boyfriend again.

They had tip toed around the term for a few days, unsure of where their relationship stood or if they even had one. But when a nurse had off handedly called Kagome his girlfriend she rolled with it, and they took it from there. He asked if it bothered her, and she blushed, shaking her head no. When he smirked, she slyly reminded him that he had not asked her out, so it technically wasn't accurate.

He was quick to remedy that, bringing her delicate hand to his lips, amber eyes burning as he gave it a kiss and asked if she would join him tonight for hospital jello.

How could a girl say no to that?

They had revisited it, the matter of marriage, but decided to take it slow. In truth, Inuyasha would have asked the priest that preformed last rites to come and marry them then and there, but he understood Kagome needed time. She trusted him, so she said, but he knew it would take time and actions to heal, to make up for the damage he had caused.

Kikyo had come by, worry in her eyes, even if she held her chin up proudly. She said she was glad he was okay, happy he found the cause of his unhappiness; he could remove it as easily as he removed himself from her life. Inuyasha cringed when she said that; she had a way of twisting his emotions and making him feel bad for her, bad for himself. Even if he couldn't remember their time together, it was clear she was in pain.

Maybe that was how she wrapped him up, pulled him in and lured him away. Maybe she really was the temptress he imagined her to be in his mind pre-diagnosis, maybe she was a hurt woman looking for comfort in any creature she could find, or maybe it was the tumor that made her appealing and lowered his inhibitions. He couldn't be sure.

He did assure her that his happiness and choices were his own business, and that regardless of what caused him to make those decisions, they were his to live with. The consequences were tough, but he wanted to make them right. He sent her off with a last warning, to find someone to love that was available. She deserved to be happy, but it wouldn't be with him.

Koga was another matter; Kagome worked with the bastard and he wasn't too thrilled to be dumped. He seemed like the kind of guy who had never been on the receiving end of a break up and for a while he didn't handle it too gracefully, giving her the cold shoulder at work, even causing some of the cattier teachers to take sides. After a while, Koga settled down. He had been hurt, but understood. According to the wolf demon it was hard to compete with an ex fiancé with brain damage. The sympathy factor would always draw her back in. Kagome had wanted to rebuttal, to correct him that her boyfriend was just fine now, but she kept her mouth shut and sipped her coffee, happy to call a truce and let work be work again.

~.~

It took a while to get back home.

The hospital was reluctant to release him, waiting a minimum of 2 months to monitor and observe his medical condition. It was pretty rare, it turned out, for a demon to get a brain tumor; rarer still, for a half demon. Once he was out of the woods, so to speak, the doctors were excited to study and learn as much as they could about him. Hanyou medicine was an up and coming field, and the research they conducted with Inuyasha would benefit generations of hanyous for years to come.

Or at least that's what the doctors spouted.

All he cared about was that they were giving him MRI's often and covering his medical bills in exchange for letting them publish their studies. It was a win-win really.

It was lonely, of course, and hard as hell to be away from Kagome. But she visited every day, brought dinner and binged the Great British Bake Off with him in his hospital bed. He was running out of Netflix shows by the time he was discharged, and he didn't even know that was possible.

It was a different experience leaving than it had been the first time.

Kagome had walked through the door smiling, a hot coffee waiting in her hand for him, large balloons in the other. She had made a fuss, as promised, and quickly flitted around the room to get any left over belongs for him. She was as anxious for him to leave as he was.

The nursing staff was happy too- they had grown to like Inuyasha in his second stay. They had been warned and on guard when he was admitted, waiting for the violent demon who could rip through any restraint to emerge, but he never did. The woman he had been calling for then was there now, and it made all the difference in the world.

When he left the first time, Miroku had taken him to his place, given up his couch without complaint.

The second time was different; Inuyasha wanted to drive, but Kagome insisted. The ride to their apartment was quiet, filled with fresh air and smiles. He liked it infinitely better.

In true Kagome style, she had decorated the apartment, a welcome home banner strung up over the doorway.

The house smelled like her, fragrant and sweet. The walls were covered in photos of friends and family, framed pictures of them through the years hung and displayed proudly. They had a decade of memories to show off, and Kagome had never been shy about that. She had even included new ones, the hospital backdrop less romantic than when they went to Niagra falls, but he was happy to see it.

Inuyasha closed the door behind them, watching as Kagome ran around nervously, anxious to make him comfortable. He had to keep reminding her that he was okay. He had brain surgery, not complete limb amputation. At this point he didn't need to be waited on, he had done all his recovering at the hospital. Right now, he just needed her to sit still.

He just needed her.

Inuyasha followed her to the kitchen, standing behind her as she leaned over the sink, stretching for a mug that was a little out of reach. He reached around, looping his arms over her stomach and pulling her small frame against his body. She stilled then sighed, leaning back into him.

He was glad to be home.

~.~

Thank you everyone for reading! I started this story as a one shot- one I didn't think was even well written- I was very surprised (and shocked, flattered) to find people had an interest in it. I cant thank you enough for taking your time to read my story!

I didn't expect to finish this in one chapter, but It just happened. Hopefully it doesn't feel rushed- my plan was to reveal the diagnosis and wrap it up from there.

This story has a personal element for me; my mother had a frontal lobe tumor, and has had it since I was in middle school. It is too small to be operated on, but large enough that it causes serious intense mood swings, headaches, nausea, memory loss, aggression and personality changes (ones so bad that people have distanced themselves for the unacceptable things she says and does). At this point, its hard to remember what she was like before the tumor. The doctors refuse to operate until it reaches a certain size, despite the severe side effects. If someone you know or love seems to be doing things that are really out of character, don't be so quick to dismiss them or accept it; obviously, people change, say and do things that are upsetting, but if it seems very out of the norm it could be a serious medical condition.

I hoped everyone enjoyed the story, and thanks again for reading!


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